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The One You Feed Podcast by Eric Zimmer

The One You Feed Podcast

by Eric Zimmer

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"This podcast saved my life"- Amy W Conversations about Creating a Life Worth Living- Named Best of 2014 by iTunes. Open minded discussions of habits, meditation, wisdom, depression, anxiety, happiness, psychology, philosophy, and motivation.


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  • 230: Andrew Solomon Re-Release (Originally Ep #50) The Atlas of Depression
    Wed, Jun 20, 2018


    This week on The One You Feed we have Andrew Solomon.

    Andrew Solomon is a writer and lecturer on politics, culture and psychology.

    Solomon’s recent book, Far From the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identitypublished on November 13, 2012, won the National Book Critics Circle award for nonfiction among many other awards. The New York Times hailed the book, writing, “It’s a book everyone should read… there’s no one who wouldn’t be a more imaginative and understanding parent — or human being — for having done so… a wise and beautiful book.”  People described it as “a brave, beautiful book that will expand your humanity.”

    Solomon’s previous book, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression (Scribner, 2001), won the 2001 National Book Award for Nonfiction, was a finalist for the 2002 Pulitzer Prize, and was included in The Times of London‘s list of one hundred best books of the decade. A New York Times bestseller in both hardcover and paperback editions, The Noonday Demon has also been a bestseller in seven foreign countries, and has been published in twenty-four languages. The New York Times described it as “All-encompassing, brave, deeply humane… a book of remarkable depth, breadth and vitality… open-minded, critically informed and poetic all at the same time… fearless, and full of compassion.”


     In This Interview Andrew and I Discuss…

    • The One You Feed parable.
    • Using work to make the world a better place.
    • The urgent business of living a moral life.
    • How to decide what we should change and what we should accept.
    • How hope can become the cornerstone of misery.
    • The challenges and joys of parenting disabled children.
    • The perfectionism of privilege.
    • The importance of the choice to celebrate what is versus wishing it to be different.
    • How we can grow through difficult circumstances.
    • The poison of comparison.
    • The idea of the “psychological supermodel”.
    • Layering feelings of failure onto depression and how damaging that is.
    • Learning to celebrate our difficulties and differences.
    • A beautiful and hopeful reading on depression.
    • How critical humor is in dealing with depression
    • New approaches to treating depression.
    • His ongoing challenges with depression and anxiety.
    • The shame of mental illness.
    • If you banish the dragons, you banish the heroes.
    • A life that is only luxury and pleasure tends to feel rather hollow and empty.
    • How sparing our children from all adversity is a bad idea.
    • The choices we face.
    • How encounters with darkness give us the energy to feed our good wolf.


  • 231: Susan Piver on The Four Noble Truths of Love
    Wed, Jun 13, 2018


    Susan Piver is a New York Times bestselling author of 9 books and a renowned Buddhist teacher. This is Susan's second time on the show because we love her and her work so much. Her new book, The Four Noble Truths of Love: Buddhist Wisdom for Modern Relationships walks us through the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism as they apply to relationships. You don't have to be a Buddhist or study Buddhism to get a lot out of this conversation and her new book. She teaches universal pieces of wisdom that, when applied, will grow and deepen and enrich your relationships to a whole new level.


    Visit oneyoufeed.net/transform to learn more about our personal transformation program.


    Please Support The Show with a Donation


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    In This Interview, Susan Piver and I Discuss...

    • Her book, The Four Noble Truths of Love: Buddhist Wisdom for Modern Relationships
    • The emotions underneath fear, hatred and greed
    • Depression being a calcified sadness
    • Turning towards sadness
    • The four noble truths of love: Relationships are uncomfortable, Thinking that they should be comfortable contributes to that uncomfortableness, Meeting the discomfort and instability together IS love, There's a threefold path to do all of this
    • Feeling your feelings without the story - what does it feel like in your body? In the environment?
    • The difference between anger and irritation in the body
    • The enormous space that opens up when we drop the expectation that when we solve "this" problem, the relationship will stabilize and we'll be happy
    • Look at the problem itself as a team in relationships rather than blaming one another
    • The threefold path: Precision, Openness, Going beyond
    • The role and importance of good manners and honesty in relationships
    • Good manners = thinking of the other person and making some accommodation, some space for them in your actions and your words
    • Opening to the other person as they are in a relationship
    • Intimacy has no end, it can always go deeper. You can always reveal more and you can always discover more
    • In a relationship, commit to intimacy over love
    • Addiction and abuse not included in this picture of relationship!
    • How you can't think your way into intimacy or inspiration - they come when you make the space
    • Passion between two people will constantly arise, abide and dissolve and though difficult, this is not a problem
    • Wishing you were in a different part of the cycle is a problem, however
    • Relax with what is and a space will open up
    • Her take on suffering
    • Her beautiful explanation of the concept of non-attachment/detachment
    • A spiritual practice frees people up to feel everything in the moment, as it is
    • Your life IS the spiritual path
    • In meditation we're not trying to get anywhere, we're trying to BE somewhere
    • Meditating in't about focusing on something but rather, bringing the brain down from some dreamworld into reality in the moment

     Please Support The Show with a Donation


  • 232: Michael Pollan on the New Science of Psychedelics and Consciousness
    Wed, Jun 06, 2018


    Michael Pollan is a writer whose books have topped the New York Times bestseller list time and time again. He teaches writing at Harvard and The University of California Berkley. In 2010, Time magazine name Michael Pollan one of the most influential people in the world. His books and essays have historically focused on our interaction with nature and this new book takes that theme to a whole other level. Its title gives you a great idea of what it's about: How to Change your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence. No matter how many interviews you've heard of Michael Pollan talking about his new book, our interview will offer you a fresh perspective, things he has not previously discussed and things that you may not have previously considered. The very last concept discussed in Eric's conversation with Michael Pollan will for sure leave you thinking anew.

     Visit oneyoufeed.net/transform to learn more about our personal transformation program.

     Our sponsor this week is Casper Mattress visit  www.casper.com/oneyoufeed and use the promo code theoneyoufeed for $50 off your purchase 

    In This Interview, Michael Pollan and I Discuss...

    • His book, How to Change your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence
    • How fear is a big motivator in people's action and inaction
    • That your obstacles are all between your ears
    • How consciousness is a big mystery
    • What the newest science tells us about psychedelics
    • The way psychedelics affect us by allowing us to look at normal, everyday consciousness in new ways
    • The default mode network going quiet during a psychedelic trip
    • The ego, idea of self in the brain and our life
    • Psychedelics impact on the sense of self
    • The experience of the dissolution of the ego
    • The mind-expanding power of mystical experience
    • The theory of the entropic brain
    • How the brain works to reduce uncertainty and surprise
    • The narrowing of consciousness by rigid thinking
    • The stories our brains tell us
    • Insufficient entropy in the brain perhaps leading to mental illnesses
    • Psychedelics disordering the brain
    • The similarities between a tripping brain on psychedelics and a meditative brain
    • An ego-free state of consciousness through the use of psychedelics
    • The mistake of seeing spirituality as the opposite of materialism
    • The opposite of spiritual being egotistical
    • The ego keeps us from having a deep connection with everything around us
    • How psychedelics are "wasted on the young"
    • That those in the 2nd half of their lives may benefit most from the use of psychedelics
    • The importance of breaking the rigidity that growing older brings
    • How psychedelics can help us make peace with our death
    • Psilocybin benefiting those facing imminent death with great fear
    • How psychedelics and a psychodynamic approach are not opposites
    • "Psychedelic assisted psychotherapy"
    • Positive trauma in the brain
    • Administering an experience rather than a drug
    • The importance of set and setting when taking a psychedelic
    • How a spiritual experience alone doesn't make a spiritual life
    • That ego is nothing but a contraction

     

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  • 231: Austin Channing Brown: On the Advancement of Racial Justice
    Wed, May 30, 2018


    Austin Channing Brown is a writer, speaker, and practitioner who helps schools, nonprofits, and religious organizations practice genuine inclusion. She is passionate about the advancement of racial justice and reconciliation and her words will most certainly move you to action. In her work, she shares her experiences as a black woman who "navigates whiteness on a regular basis". After listening to this interview and reading her book, your mind and heart will be broadened towards understanding and inclusion - regardless of where you are on that spectrum today.

     

    Visit oneyoufeed.net/transform to learn more about our personal transformation program.


    In This Interview, Austin Channing Brown and I Discuss...

    • Her book, I'm Still Here: Black Dignity in A World Made for Whiteness
    • The importance and value of anger
    • How we can fight the monsters without becoming the monsters
    • That anger reveals something is wrong
    • White fragility - sadness and anger
    • Naming the things that can come in the way of a discussion, before the discussion happens
    • Realising racial bias
    • Transformation comes after a moment of realization
    • The idea of "whiteness being normal"
    • Books to read to gain an understanding of racial injustice
    • Disunity in Christ
    • Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?: And Other Conversations About Race
    • How to look for opportunities to talk with others about topics of racial injustice
    • Check out "Be the Bridge"
    • The white confessional being a shortcut to true reconciliation
    • Skipping the confessional story and moving straight to the action step you'll take next
    • What reconciliation means to her
    • Racial justice and reconciliation
    • Radical Reconciliation
    • How reconciliation should revolutionize the relationships we have with each other
    • The celebration of blackness that is throughout the book
    • Cultural misappropriation


     

     

     

    Please Support The Show with a Donation


  • 231: Reissue: Frank Turner
    Wed, May 23, 2018


    This week on The One You Feed we have Frank Turner.

    In honor of Frank's new record we are re-releasing one of Eric's favorite interviews. This was the 22nd interview of all time for The One You Feed.

    We will be back with a new episode next week.

    Frank was a singer in a hardcore band, Million Dead. When they broke up he started out on his own with an acoustic guitar. He has released  five solo albums, two rarities compilation albums, one split album and five EPs. His seventh studio album Be More Kind was recently released

    In This Interview Frank and I Discuss…

    • The One You Feed parable.
    • The feeling that there is never enough time.
    • The importance of friendship in feeding your good wolf.
    • His role as a CALM Ambassador.
    • Building a community around music.
    • What punk rock meant to him as a kid.
    • Staying connected to his values of openness and community as he gets more famous
    • Music as a refuge for those that don’t fit in.
    • Music that he turns to to feed his good wolf.
    • Writing the press release for John K Samson’s latest record.
    • The challenges of alcohol and drugs.
    • Getting older and the changes in identity that come with that.
    • His love of dogs and his amazing “dog policy” at shows
    • His forthcoming record.

    Frank Turner Links

    Frank Turner Homepage

    Buy Frank Turner music on Amazon

    Frank Turner on Twitter

  • 231: Adyshanti Part 2
    Wed, May 16, 2018


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    Adyashanti is a renowned and gifted spiritual teacher. He's written many books, hosts meditation retreats and speaks around the world to large audiences at a time. With such a wide audience, it's amazing that when you experience Adya's teaching, it's as if he's speaking directly to you - to your very heart. Whatever your experience with or preconceived notions of spiritual awakening, allow yourself to re-engage with the idea through this interview. As you turn the inquiry towards yourself this time, you may be surprised, moved and/or transformed by what you find - if you are brutally honest in the process.


     

    Visit oneyoufeed.net/transform to learn more about our personal transformation program.

     

     

    In This Interview, Adyashanti and I Discuss...

    • Self-Inquiry
    • Starting with I am not _____
    • Starting with all inclusiveness - I am _____
    • Being open to being wrong about things
    • Experiencing an "uncaused" sense of well being
    • Self-transcendent values
    • It works best in life to ______
    • When you have less internal conflict you treat the world in a different way than if you have more internal conflict
    • Removing the religious and cultural compass removes the moral north star
    • We reorient ourselves to comfort being the north star
    • Nothing mattering AND everything mattering
    • That Adya is oriented towards truth and love
    • Activities are neutral - it's what we bring to it that gives it meaning
    • What is it about awakening that you want?
    • What is meaningful moment to moment and day by day
    • At every moment, we are giving expression to what we value
    • How nothing shuts down awakening faster than judgment
    • The spiritual persona of "I'm going to get out of this human game" or "I'm going to be here but not really be here"
    • The importance of coming to grips with the human experience of imperfection...
    • ...without turning it into an excuse for unwise behavior
    • Be aware of your human limitations and don't see them as "wrong"
    • The problematic experience of existential unworthiness
    • The economic catastrophe of a collective human awakening

    Please Support The Show with a Donation


  • 229: Adyashanti on the Process and Experience of Awakening (part 1)
    Wed, May 09, 2018


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    Adyashanti is a renowned and gifted spiritual teacher. He's written many books, hosts meditation retreats and speaks around the world to large audiences at a time. With such a wide audience, it's amazing that when you experience Adya's teaching, it's as if he's speaking directly to you - to your very heart. Whatever your experience with or preconceived notions of spiritual awakening, allow yourself to re-engage with the idea through this interview. As you turn the inquiry towards yourself this time, you may be surprised, moved and/or transformed by what you find - if you are brutally honest in the process.our inner life.


     Visit oneyoufeed.net/transform to learn more about our personal transformation program.

     

    In This Interview, Adyashanti and I Discuss...

    • Eric's awakening experience
    • The awakened state in perpetuity
    • The shift in perception that happens with awakening
    • The paradox of wanting something like awakening yet wanting it stands in the way of having it
    • Will gets you to the cushion and once there, it's important to let go of it
    • Does one need a spiritual teacher when seeking awakening?
    • The teacher evoking something from vs the teacher giving something to the student
    • How people work with unconscious patterns
    • How you can't not be awakened - even if you don't feel it, it's there
    • Emotional conflict
    • Paying attention to what's recurring in you
    • Anything that's happened to us that was too big for us to remain conscious while we experienced it, gets trapped in our system - turned into some other emotion or it just gets stuffed and is now just there waiting for you. The universe is now asking, "can you experience this now?"
    • Being fine with being sad
    • Let everything be exactly the way it is
    • How dealing with life's experiences as they come transforms you
    • A clinched fist vs an open hand metaphor
    • "Let" vs "Let go"
    • If you can't let it go, can you let it be
    • Failure as part of triumph
    • Failing your way through something consciously can cause a sort of transformation
    • What it looks like to build a spiritual practice
    • Daily quiet meditation, Engage in some precise self-inquiry (a wonderment of "being")
    • How spirituality is the direct investigation of YOUR experience
    • The only way to get self-inquiry wrong is not to be ruthlessly honest about what's happening in your experience
    • The fear of getting something wrong
    • Think of your spiritual teacher kind of like a college professor


    Please Support The Show with a Donation


  • 228: Mark Epstein on the Intersection of Buddhism and Psychotherapy
    Tue, May 01, 2018


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    Mark Epstein is a psychiatrist in private practice in NYC and the author of many books about the intersection of Buddhism and psychotherapy. He's currently the clinical assistant professor in the postdoctoral program in Psychotherapy and Psychoanalysis at New York University. His most recent book, Advice Not Given; A Guide to Getting Over Yourself is what he talks about in this episode. His wisdom is so incredibly practical, applicable, and helpful. Ideas like whether or not naming your feelings would be a helpful strategy for you and how to work with clinging in its many forms - even the clinging to inner peace - abound in this discussion. Take a listen and enrich your inner life. 

    Visit oneyoufeed.net/transform to learn more about our personal transformation program.

     

    In This Interview, Mark Epstein and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • His book, Advice Not Given; A Guide to Getting Over Yourself
    • The duality that we all struggle with
    • Freud and the Buddha's nearly identical conclusion
    • What it means to take personal responsibility for our selfish concerns
    • The clinging to that which gives us a sense of control over life
    • The clinging to that which nurtures our ego
    • The eightfold path of the Buddha
    • The conversation with his terminally ill father that inspired this book
    • Right View - being realistic about one's self and the nature of things
    • How change and death is happening all of the time, moment to moment
    • Trying not to try as it relates to meditation
    • "Take the backward step" in meditation
    • FInding balance in "right effort"
    • Exploring the feelings that we are otherwise afraid of through psychotherapy
    • The link between being with uncomfortable feelings and empathy to others
    • How anything that's happening in the body or mind can be the object of meditation
    • How useful it is to name a feeling
    • Making a feeling "intelligible" by naming it
    • How useful it can be to find where feelings show up in the body
    • When your mind is not aware of what's making you act this way (in addiction, compulsive behaviors etc) it's important to put the words on the feelings
    • Whether or not all emotions show up in the body
    • How clinging takes many forms - even the desire for inner peace
    • "Don't chase her, let her find you."
    • That our lives are made dull by our efforts to over control things


    Please Support The Show with a Donation


     

     

  • 227: Barbara Bonner on Inspiring Generosity and Courage
    Wed, Apr 25, 2018


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    Barbara Bonner started as an art historian and then went on to spend much of her professional career in nonprofit management, fundraising and philanthropy. Most relevant to this show, Barbara is the author of two books; Inspiring Generosity and Inspiring Courage. In this episode, she talks about both, using beautiful poetry, powerful quotes, and illustrative real-life stories. If you've ever wanted to cultivate these two qualities in your life, then this episode is for you. If there's one thing Barbara does through her work, it's inspiring action towards both of these qualities in the lives of everyday people.


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    In This Interview, Barbara Bonner and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • Her books, Inspiring Generosity and Inspiring Courage
    • The power of putting ourselves in the way of inspiration
    • How we're different at the end of a book than at the beginning
    • Reframing how we look at generosity
    • How generosity flows from a sense of abundance
    • How a sense of abundance flows from being generous
    • That generosity and courage are action verbs
    • The fact that you should feel a pinch when you act generously
    • That saying the loving-kindness meditation can be generous
    • What it means to lead a courageous life
    • How no one who was courageous seems to claim courage
    • The spontaneity of courage
    • How authenticity seems to coincide with courage
    • That you see a pattern of courage throughout people's lives
    • Post-traumatic growth
    • How a strong childhood isn't necessary in order to lead a full life
    • The role of listening in generosity and courage
    • How important listening is in all of life
    • The correlation between generosity and courage
    • Practicing generosity and courage and growing the ability to act on these qualities over time
    • How to live a life of meaning you have to step forward
    • "Do something every day that doesn't compute" - Wendell Berry

     

    Please Support The Show with a Donation


  • 226: Ulrich Boser on How to Get Better at Learning
    Tue, Apr 17, 2018


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    Ulrich Boser is a best selling author and senior fellow with The Center for American Progress. He has been a contributing editor for US News and World Report and his work has appeared in the NY Times, Wall Street Journal, and Huntington Post. His latest book, Learn Better: Mastering the Skills for Success in Life, Business or School - or - How to Become an Expert in Just About Anything, will equip you with actual skills to get better at what some have called the ultimate survival tool: learning how to learn. This topic is relevant to literally everyone. To be alive is to learn and grow and change (whether we're aware of it at times or not!) so it's important to sharpen our skills in order to get better at getting better. What is discussed in this episode will confirm some of what you know about how people learn, challenge some beliefs you might have about this topic and teach you a few things in the process that will make you a better student of life.

     

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    In This Interview, Ulrich Boser and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • His book, Learn Better: Mastering the Skills for Success in Life, Business or School - or - How to Become an Expert in Just About Anything
    • Learning how to learn
    • Getting better at getting better
    • The ultimate survival tool
    • Being actively engaged in the learning process
    • Making meaning out of something
    • The hypercorrection effect
    • Giving our brain time to make sense of the information, reflection
    • How critical it is to understand relationships between things
    • Varying the circumstances in which we learn/apply information
    • How it's easier to remember something new if you can hang it on to something old
    • A systematic approach to learning something
    • Value: valuing what you're learning
    • Target: learning small pieces of info at a time
    • Develop: practice & get feedback
    • Extend: elaborating on something, looking at it from different angles
    • Relate: analogies are the essence of thought, relating something to other things
    • Rethink: take time to process information
    • Metacognition: thinking about thinking
    • What are you going to learn and how will you know that you know it?
    • How intertwined emotion and cognition are
    • Digestible parts: learn less at a time
    • At 90 minutes of learning, adults are kind of done
    • Active learning strategies
    • Hypotheticals: what would happen if...
    • Why it's important to stay away from cramming


    Please Support The Show with a Donation


  • 225: Tim Freke on the Evolution of the Human Psyche
    Wed, Apr 11, 2018


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    Tim Freke is a truly pioneering philosopher. His many books, talks, and retreats have touched the lives of hundreds of thousands of people worldwide. Tim is the author of 35 books, the newest being Soul Story: Evolution and the purpose of life. As you listen to this interview, your ah-ha moments will grow in scope and scale throughout the conversation. He is a radical thinker and one of the great minds of our time. His big view of where we've been, where we are and where we're going will hit you as perhaps surprising, remarkably realistic and fundamentally inspiring. Listen and see for yourself.

     

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    In This Interview, Tim Freke and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • His book, Soul Story: Evolution and the Purpose of Life
    • The deeper level of evolution going on inside of ourselves
    • The evolution of the psyche
    • Perhaps it's all one evolutionary journey: physical evolution, biological evolution and then an evolution of the psyche or soul
    • What if rather than the concept of God creating the universe, we've evolved such that we've created a god
    • Maybe God is where we're going towards
    • In life - the deepest things happen at the end
    • An arriving of conscious oneness
    • The point of view that life in the world is getting better over time
    • Creativity is the heart of the universe
    • The great religions of the world were created at a time when people still thought the world is flat. We've moved on and so can our recognition of spirituality
    • The ark of time pointing towards a better world now
    • Rather than the passing of time, perhaps it's the accumulation of the past meeting the possible.The past meeting the possible
    • The weight of the past that can limit us and pull us back
    • Paralogical thinking: both AND (not either or)
    • Transcend and Include
    • How he teaches others to have the experience of "deep awake"
    • Allowing vs. Pushing Away
    • Being pulled towards the better while living in the present
    • Being a spiritual being in an animal, human body
    • Cause and Effect, Meaning and Magic - all of the levels are interacting all of the time
    • The power of realistic thinking that's inspirational
    • Deep Awake: being spiritually awake, you experience the oneness of life and that feels like love
    • Waking up doesn't mean we ditch our individuality
    • The form of consciousness that comes through our senses which are rooted in the body
    • The form of consciousness that is in the psyche and imagination
    • The form of consciousness that questions itself and realizes that our essential nature has no form


     

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  • 224: Cheri Huber On the Impact of Our Mind on Our Direct Experience
    Wed, Apr 04, 2018


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    Cheri Huber is the author of 20 books and has been a student of zen for 35 years. She founded the Mountain View Zen Center and the Zen Monastery Peace Center, both in California, where she and other monks teach workshops and hold retreats. She is also a truth telling, light hearted delight to listen to. In this interview, she talks all about what is going on in our mind and how we can better work with it to produce a better experience in life. Her wisdom is so practical and so powerful. See for yourself in this transformative episode.

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    In This Interview, Cheri Huber and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • Her book, I Don't Want To, I Don't Feel Like It: How resistance controls your life and what to do about it
    • How the process IS the outcome
    • That now is the only moment there is
    • How the quality of your life is determined by the focus of your attention
    • Everything comes into being, together
    • She doesn't believe that there's anything that ISN'T God
    • Our dualistic thinking
    • All of the ways to refer to the ego
    • The unique ability that humans have to experience themselves as other than life
    • The ego is a survival system
    • Believing we are not connected to life
    • Everything is a verb! A gerund
    • The illusion of being separate from life
    • My ego is the no to life's yes
    • Always asking what's lacking, what's missing, what's wrong keeps the ego as the center of the universe
    • How we are deeply conditioned for negativity
    • Awareness being able to watch the conditioned mind
    • I hear it in my head, it sounds like me, it must be me, it's who I am
    • Approach the stuff that's going on inside our heads by imagining that it's somebody next to you saying it
    • Recording and Listening
    • Make recordings of what's true, what I appreciate, what I love
    • Hearing what's true for you in your own voice
    • Talking ourselves into a life that's true
    • How we direct our attention is the be all and end all in life
    • We have these tendencies to see what's negative so we need to bring ourselves to what is true that isn't negative
    • We transcend the conditioned mind, we don't resist it
    • The key is to turn your attention away from the negative voices not to change what they are saying
    • The habit of going with the conversation in your head is so powerful
    • If we can wake up out of it, we can decide to go somewhere else in our attention
    • Hear Cheri Huber talk about her book,  I Don't Want To, I Don't Feel Like It: How resistance controls your life and what to do about it
    • Cheri Huber teaches that the process IS the outcome
    • Cheri Huber explains what she means by this: your ego is the "no" to life's "yes"
    • Do you believe that we are deeply conditioned for negativity or hardwired for negativity?
    • Here's a tip: Approach the stuff that's going on inside our heads by imagining that it's somebody next to you saying it
    • The quality of your life is determined by the focus of your attention


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  • 223: 223: Rick Hanson on Growing Positive Qualities
    Tue, Mar 27, 2018


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    Rick Hanson, PhD is a Neuropsychologist, teacher and author of many books. He is the founder of the Wellspring Center for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom and an affiliate of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkley. This is the 2nd time Dr. Hanson has been a guest on the show and we invited him back because of how great his work really is. In this episode, he talks all about the fact that who we become is a result of what we grow inside of ourselves. Using the analogy of tending a garden, he teaches us very practical ways to grow and enrich ourselves through the experiences in our lives. Get a pen and paper - you'll probably want to take notes on this one!


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    In This Interview, Rick Hanson and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • His book, Resilient: How to grow an unshakable core of calm, strength, and happiness
    • Who we become is a result of what we grow inside ourselves
    • How you manage your challenges, protect your vulnerabilities, Increase your resources: out in the world, in the body, and in the mind
    • Growing resources in our mind is a good focus
    • Converting an experience into lasting change
    • Slowing down content delivery so that the nervous system in our brains has a chance to receive it and rewire accordingly
    • 5 ways to enrich a beneficial experience:
    • Extend the experience (make it longer)
    • Intensify the experience (really lean into it)
    • Embody the experience (how does it feel in your body and your mind)
    • Freshen the experience (see what's novel about it? Bring a beginners mind)
    • Value the experience (see the relevance to you)
    • Asking what is the challenge? What resource would be the most beneficial?
    • The mind is like a garden - to grow things, focus on:
    • Mindful witnessing
    • Mindful releasing of what's negative
    • Mindful receiving (replace what we release or simply receive what would be beneficial)
    • Fighting what's negative only makes it work
    • Growing a fundamental core of resilient wellbeing
    • Safety, Satisfaction, and Connection are basic needs we have
    • How it takes time to tend a garden
    • How adversity isn't the only way to grow in life
    • We have to experience what we want to grow inside
    • We have to turn that experience into some kind of lasting change in the brain

     

     

     

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  • 222: Questions to Ask Yourself About Stress
    Sat, Mar 24, 2018


    This an an excerpt from our The One You Feed Stress Reducer Course


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  • 222: Jeff Warren on How to Meditate with a Busy Brain
    Tue, Mar 20, 2018


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    Jeff Warren is a former journalist and more recently is a researcher, writer, and teacher of meditation and personal growth practices. His most recent book, written with Dan Harris, is called, Meditation for Fidgitty Skeptics: A 10% Happier How to Book. Jeff is a likable, relatable guy who carries a lot of practical wisdom in his conversational style of communicating. If you've ever felt like you're not good at meditating or that meditation just isn't for you because your brain never turns off, this interview is for you because that's how Jeff would describe himself, particularly at the beginning of his practice years ago. We all know that meditation is good for us but for many, it just feels inaccessible and out of reach. If that is how you feel, what Jeff has to share in this interview will make that gap shrink in size so much so that you can hop right over it and try again.


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    In This Interview, Jeff Warren and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • His book with Dan Harris, Meditation for Fidgitty Skeptics: A 10% Happier How to Book
    • The role of meditation in living with depression
    • The voice in our heads
    • Not identifying with the voices in our heads
    • Coming out of the conversation in our heads
    • The idea of "I can't meditate"
    • Thinking we're supposed to stop thinking when we meditate
    • Changing the relationship with your thoughts
    • Focusing on an anchor, getting lost in thought, realizing you're lost in thought and coming back to your anchor = mediation
    • How quick we are to conclude that meditation isn't for us
    • That meditation is a practice
    • Celebrating the coming back from thought in meditation
    • Training affability during meditation
    • Finding enjoyment and curiosity during meditation
    •  Asking "What's the attitude in my mind right now?" during meditation
    • That attitude is what you're training during meditation
    • Looking at the world with interest
    • Equanimity = a lack of pushing and pulling on experience
    • Opening to experience so that there's no friction
    • When everything has permission to express its self fully


    Check out our new Stress Reducer Course

  • 221: Introducing Safe For Work
    Mon, Mar 19, 2018


    Sometimes the workplace can get crazy and messy, that's where the podcast Safe For Work comes in. Join the former head of marketing for Nike, NatGeo, and the Oprah Winfrey Network, Liz Dolan and recovering lawyer turned comedian and executive recruiter, Matt Ritter as they take your calls about the workplace and help you get through Monday to Friday with a little less stress, more confidence and a little more fun.

    Subscribe to Safe For Work on Apple Podcast, wherever you listen to podcasts or click wondery.fm/safeforwork

  • 221: Robert Wright on Why Buddhism is True
    Wed, Mar 14, 2018


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    Robert Wright is an author and a scholar. His most recent book, Why Buddhism is True, is an analytical look comparing the ancient concepts of Buddhism and the more recent findings of modern science. The title of his book may be a bit provocative, but we challenge you to hear him out before assuming what he writes about in his book on the topic. We think you'll find this interview thought provoking and interesting as well as instructive and helpful. Whatever your reaction to the episode, we'd love to hear about it.

     

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    In This Interview, Robert Wright and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • His book, Why Buddhism is True
    • Evolutionary Psychology
    • That according to Evolutionary Psychology we're wired to do what's best to propagate our genes into the next generation
    • And how sometimes doing that might not be what's best for ourselves or the world
    • That we're wired for a recurring dissatisfaction or discontented so we'd keep doing the things that would move us toward our goal of passing our genes on to the next generation
    • Craving and Aversion
    • Not following craving and aversion as guides are central to Buddhism
    • According to Buddhism if we don't run from unpleasant feelings like sadness, anxiety etc, they will actually become less painful over time
    • That the Buddha intuited a lot of things that we now know to be true according to modern science and evolutionary psychology
    • How our thoughts can sometimes subtlely influence us - ex Cognitive Bias
    • Cognitive Bias being driven by emotion rather than being rational & Buddhism teaches that
    • The Buddhist conception of the mind/brain and modern psychology's conception of the mind/brain are very aligned
    • In the cognitive battle for attention, the thought that "wins" is the one that has the most feeling attached to it
    • How meditation can help give you clarity on thoughts and feelings and the difference between the two
    • CBT & questioning your thoughts and feelings in Buddhism
    • Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
    • Allowing and observing rather than acting on our strong feelings
    • The anguish we add to physical pain by the anticipation of it or the lamenting of it
    • Essences that we impute into things
    • The idea of not self and what it means
    • The benefit of parceling out the things that we identify - like anxious feelings - as not being ourselves
    • Thinking you're not cut out for meditation

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  • 220: Living the Questions
    Sat, Mar 10, 2018


    We all want answers, but often they aren't forthcoming. Learning to live within and with the questions is a art to learn.


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  • 220: Catherine Gray on the Joy of Being Sober
    Wed, Mar 07, 2018


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    Catherine Gray is an award-winning writer and editor. Her most recent book is called, The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober. What a brilliant title and what a brilliant book. In it - and in this interview - Catherine offers so many good ideas, phrases, and pearls of wisdom to take away and keep close by. She shares a bit about her journey to and through sobriety with Eric and the critical "ah ha" moments along the way that really helped her build the life she's living today. If you don't have a revelatory moment when listening to her in this interview, we'll be surprised.


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    In This Interview, Catherine Gray and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • Her book, The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober
    • The challenge of training our brains to look for the good stuff in life
    • The question: Would my life be better sober? instead of Am I an alcoholic?
    • Rock bottom being a different place for different people at different times
    • The challenge of moderation
    • The beautiful clarity of zero
    • The limbic system in distress with indecision
    • Controlling vs Enjoying drinking
    • Alchohol being like a cheat code in a video game when it comes to inhibition
    • That no one regrets being sober
    • The awful feelings at the beginning of getting sober are what you feel like because of the drinking, not the getting sober
    • Learning the skills to enjoy life sober
    • Addictive voice recognition
    • Negative Thought Patterns:
    • B&B 
    • Children in a car
    • Bird watching
    • That there are many different ways to get sober
    • How expectations are resentments under construction
    • Day counting in being sober
    • I don't vs I can't


     


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  • 219: Paul Dolan on Designing Your Life for Happiness
    Wed, Feb 28, 2018


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    Paul Dolan is a Professor of Behavioral Science at the London School of Economics and Political Science. He's an expert on human behavior and happiness. Paul is also the author of the best selling book, Happiness By Design: Change What You Do Not What You Think. We all want happiness in our lives yet happiness is something that so often eludes most people. It seems like a feeling that happens to us rather than a feeling that we can cultivate with intention. In this interview, Paul teaches some really practical, research-based, action-oriented approaches to life that we can take today to increase our feelings of happiness. The first step? Listen to this informative and interesting interview.

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    In This Interview, Paul Dolan and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • His book, Happiness By Design: Change What You Do Not What You Think
    • The power of designing your environment
    • Find a balance of purpose and pleasure and you have a happy life
    • How a large part of how you feel is connected to what you do
    • The role of attention in happiness
    • What we think would make us happy vs what does make us happy
    • That we're not very good at predicting what will make us happy
    • The AREA model
    • How we must make sense of what's happened in order to adapt to it
    • Key to happiness is also to pay more attention to what makes you happy and less attention to what doesn't make you happy
    • Why somethings that are so obvious are so often overlooked
    • If you can't change what you do, change what you pay attention to in the experience
    • If you want to do something, make it easy for yourself to do it
    • Less about willpower and more about design power
    • Habit loops
    • Queuing your environment, commitment and norm
    • Deciding, Designing and Doing
    • If you want to do something, make it easy. If you don't want to do something make it hard


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  • 218: Ellen Bass: Ellen Bass on the Power of Poetry in Your Life
    Wed, Feb 21, 2018


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    Ellen Bass is a Chancellor of the Academy of American Poets. Her work has won award after award and rightly so - there's something so powerful, beautiful, true and often times darkly funny in her work. She says that writing poetry - as well as reading it - is an inquiry more than a description. Isn't that an interesting perspective to consider?  In this episode, you'll hear her read some of her work, share her insights and experiences in life, talk about the process of writing poetry and offer some ideas that perhaps you had not considered before - especially in the way she does. Regardless of whether or not you think of yourself as a lover of poetry, you'll be touched by this episode.

    She is the author of Like a Beggar, The Human Line, Mules of Love, and The Courage to Heal


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     In This Interview, Ellen Bass and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • Her book, Like a Beggar
    • That poetry is an inquiry more than a description
    • Discovering something about oneself when writing and reading poetry
    • Her poem, Relax
    • Tasting life
    • Thinking about how you are "right now"
    • The role of finding similarities in disparate things when using metaphor
    • The oneness of the world
    • Working hard in the chair to be a poet
    • How no one would expect a person to pick up a saxophone and immediately be able to play and the same is true for writing poetry
    • Her poem, Asking Directions in Paris
    • Using God in her poetry
    • Her poem, If You Knew
    • How because of mortality, one day, we as individuals are going to lose everything
    • That poetry helps us to see deeply into the beauty of things that are right in front of us
    • Introducing poetry to others as you would a novel
    • The important role of humor
    • Poets she mentioned:
    • Marie Howe
    • Jericho Brown
    • Natalie Diaz


     

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  • 217: Will Schwalbe:On the Love of Reading Books
    Wed, Feb 14, 2018


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    Will Schwalbe is an author, entrepreneur, and journalist. He is also perhaps the most delightful, interesting and thoughtful person you've come across in a while. His love of books is infectious and as you know, Eric is a bibliophile himself so when the two talk about books and reading as they do in this episode, the result is one blissful experience. Do you love reading? Did you used to love reading but it's moved out of the spotlight of your life? Have you wanted to cultivate a love of reading? Are you looking for some really wonderful books to read? Are you alive and breathing? If your answer to any of these questions is yes, then this interview is for you.

    He is the author of  Thoughts on Reading, Reflecting and Embracing Life, The End of Your Life Book Club and SEND: Why People Email So Badly and How to Do It Better

     

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    In This Interview, Will Schwalbe and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • His book, Books for Living, Some Thoughts on Reading, Reflecting and Embracing Life
    • The importance of reading
    • That reading isn't binary
    • That every time we read, we become better at reading
    • How reading can promote empathy
    • How we connect through books
    • The practice of "visiting your books"
    • How he chooses which book to read next
    • The way books can be a bio of your life
    • The primary emotion he has at the beginning of reading a book
    • Live to work vs work to live
    • The freedom to quit
    • The freedom of mediocrity
    • Good being the enemy of great
    • You write the books you need
    • That our devices allow us to rob ourselves of silence
    • How reading is an art
    • The "can't you tell I'm reading" face
    • His favorite books that he's read recently that were written recently

    Will Schwalbe Links

    Homepage

    Twitter

    Facebook

     

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  • 216: David Loy on the Intersection of Buddhism and Modern Culture
    Wed, Feb 07, 2018


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    David Loy is a professor, prolific writer, and teacher in the Japanese Zen Buddhism tradition. Much of his work has to do with what has happened as Buddhism has encountered modern western culture and vice versa. In this episode, we dive into this topic via a discussion of his book, A New Buddhist Path: Enlightenment, Evolution, and Ethics in the Modern World. David presents us with a different lens through which to look at this intersection of cultures which will also thereby change the way you look at yourself.

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     In This Interview, David Loy and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • His book, A New Buddhist Path: Enlightenment, Evolution, and Ethics in the Modern World
    • Buddhism in the West today
    • The mindfulness movement
    • The play between Buddhism and Psychotherapy
    • The role of the self
    • The danger of spiritual by-pass
    • The delicate line of feeling our difficult emotions and foregoing our emotions
    • Transcend the world? Adapt to the world? or See the world differently?
    • That the sense of self that we think we have is not as solid or real as we think
    • How meditation helps us let go of delusional perceptions of the world
    • Our true nature
    • The true nature of the world
    • Buddhism and emptiness
    • The sense of self is obscuring the nature or our minds which in themselves have no form or characteristics in and of themselves
    • Liberating our awareness from being stuck on things we're thinking about
    • A collection of psychological processes that are happening within us
    • The process of trying to find the self
    • Realizing the truth of "that which is looking is that which we are looking for"
    • Non-dualism
    • The illusion perpetuated by a sense of lack
    • Pursuing "things" to deal with the sense of lack because we don't really know what else to do to deal with it
    • Consumerism
    • Greed
    • Ill will
    • Our militarized society
    • The institutionalized systems that are running of their own accord
    • The duality of good vs evil and vilifying the "other" in the Judeo Christian West
    • The importance of personal transformation in our cultural transformation
    • What Buddhism is loosing as it moves into the modern world
    • What Buddhism is gaining as it moves into the modern world
    • The meditative and contemplative practices of Buddhism that can help us transform ourselves
    • Social transformation and Individual transformation


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  • 215: Are You Too Easy or Too Hard on Yourself
    Sun, Feb 04, 2018


    When you are feeling down is it better to push yourself to do the things you know are good for you or should you allow yourself to take it easy and do less? Depends....


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  • 215: Leah Weiss on the Power of Mindfulness in the Workplace
    Wed, Jan 31, 2018


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    Leah Weiss wears many hats: she's a researcher, professor, consultant, and author. Much of her work to date has surrounded cultivating compassion in the workplace. Her upcoming book, to be released in March 2018, ventures into the realm of bringing mindfulness into the workplace. It turns out, it's not only possible to do so, but it completely transforms the way people experience their work for the better. Hate your job? This interview is PERFECT for you. But you don't have to hate your job to get a lot out of it. Leah Weiss can help you elevate your experience at work no matter your starting point of happiness. 

    In This Interview, Leah Weiss and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • Her book How We Work: Live Your Purpose, Reclaim Your Sanity and Embrace the Daily Grind
    • The importance of and impact of our experience at work
    • Mindfulness: the intentional use of attention
    • The illusion of multitasking
    • Looking differently at what we're already doing vs doing something differently
    • Taking all of your life onto the path
    • How mindfulness helps you transform the experience
    • The importance of directing our attention to something we've been avoiding because it's painful
    • How the strategy of avoidance or resistance leads us to be more unhappy
    • The three types of mindfulness training that we can bring to work
    • Being in your body
    • Metacognition
    • Focus
    • The Pomodoro Technique
    • Our crazy streams of consciousness
    • Eudaimonic happiness vs Hedonic happiness
    • A helpful strategy for dealing with people who annoy you - in life and at work

     

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  • 214: Andy Couturier on Increasing your Happiness by Simplifying Your Life 
    Wed, Jan 24, 2018


    Andy Couturier lived in rural Japan many years ago and it changed his life. As he lived alongside people who were living profoundly satisfying lives, he learned what they were doing (or not doing!) to achieve this level of satisfaction and then he wrote about it in his book, The Abundance of Less: Lessons in Simple Living from Rural Japan. In this interview, Andy shares this wisdom and his experiences in such a way that you can apply the concepts in a practical manner in your life starting today.


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    In This Interview, Andy Couturier and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • His book, The Abundance of Less: Lessons in Simple Living From Rural Japan
    • His time living in rural Japan
    • That the people in rural Japan do not use money to entertain themselves
    • Their way of life is slow, humble, connected to their community and time for individual contemplation
    • How they don't suffer from "time poverty"
    • That all life is connected in rural Japan
    • Because there is less to do, the garner more enjoyment from each task
    • The consumerism and busy characteristics of the industrialized west
    • How "convenience speeds you up"
    • Ways to make meaningful strides towards living a lifestyle inspired by the lifestyle in rural Japan
    • Simplify simplify simplify
    • Travel less, know your home city better
    • Make meaningful connections with friends by spending more time together
    • Diving deeper into things in your life in a methodical, thoughtful way
    • I love doing _____. Wouldn't it be wonderful to spend more time doing it?
    • Ways to make time for what we care about
    • How they live profoundly satisfying lives in rural Japan
    • That you don't have to "go back in time" to live this kind of life
    • Building his house entirely with hand tools

     

     

     

  • 213: Dillan Digiovanni on Activism and Identity
    Wed, Jan 17, 2018


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    Dillan Digiovanni used to be a really angry activist. He believed his anger was an important driver to fuel his work to inspire change in the world. Then he had a revelation: His anger wasn't working. It was driving other people away and it was toxic to himself. Where his path led him from there has turned out to be quite an adventure. He's now an activist without the energy of anger and he now identifies as a man. This interview will inspire you to live your truth. It will inspire you to examine your own life and be better because of it. This important conversation is not only relevant to the issues of today, but it proves to be perennially relevant to how we decide to live our lives in the skin we're in.


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    In This Interview, Dillan DiGiovanni and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • How, as an activist, his anger was driving people away
    • That there's no right way to do anything
    • If you're angry all of the time you're constantly looking for the threat
    • His gender identity transition
    • That anger can be a healthy thing
    • Searching for the feeling that's underneath the anger
    • The harm in being angry at people for being ignorant about an issue
    • The way anger impacts your perspective on life and other people
    • The harm in saying "they did this because..." when what you're working with is an assumption
    • His relationship to anger now that he's awake to it
    • The power of "allowing" vs "resisting"
    • His story of transitioning his gender identity
    • Resilience
    • How to live in the world when no one person understands all of you
    • The anger that arises when your expectations about how other people should behave aren't met
    • The power of meeting people where they really are
    • How to work with your vision about how the world should be
    • The power of the serenity prayer
    • What happened when he let go of his anger as an activist
    • His Buddhist tradition
    • Having a meditation practice


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  • 212: Elissa Epel on Telomeres and How our Choices Affect Them and our Health
    Wed, Jan 10, 2018


    Dr. Elissa Epel knows a lot about the science of stress. As a health psychologist, she specializes in research surrounding the role Telomeres and their length play in our body's response to stress. In this episode, she explains how the choices we make emotionally, about our thought patterns, our lifestyle etc directly affects our biology in a very clear and measurable way. It turns out, our thoughts and our behavior have a measurable impact on our biology at a cellular level and there are things that we can do to make that impact a positive one. When it comes to telomeres, in most cases, the longer the better and you can do things to impact that variable of length starting today. She is the coauthor with Nobel winner Dr. Elizabeth Blackburn of the book The Telomere Effect: A Revolutionary Approach to Living Younger, Healthier and Longer


    This episode is sponsored by Health IQ. Get lower rates on life insurance if you are health conscious. Get free quote here

     

    In This Interview, Elissa Epel and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • Her book, The Telomere Effect: A Revolutionary Approach to Living Younger, Healthier and Longer
    • That genes load the gun and environment pulls the trigger
    • How at least 50% of the variance of whether we die early, get sick etc is our behavior, which is shaped by our psychological experience
    • What a telomere is and their role in aging
    • Keeping them long, and sturdy and stable throughout our lives
    • That in mid-life, shorter telomeres predict getting diseases of aging, earlier (cancer is an exception)
    • That telomere length can be epigenetic
    • The role of inflammation in our health
    • Inflamm-aging
    • An anti-inflammatory diet
    • Depression and telomere length
    • The challenge response
    • That not ruminating on a stressor can lead to a quicker psychological recovery which leads to a quicker physiological recovery
    • Linguistic Self Distancing = improved stress resilience
    • It's not about avoiding stress, it's about coping with stress in a way that doesn't amplify the stress in our mind in a prolonged way
    • Time distancing


  • 211: Steve Hagen on Perception, Conception, and Enlightenment
    Wed, Jan 03, 2018


    Steve Hagen is the founder and teacher of the Dharma Field Zen Center in Minneapolis, MN and the author of several books on Buddhism, including Buddhism Plain and Simple which is one of the top five best selling books on Buddhism in the United States. In this episode, Steve teaches us about several Buddhist concepts that are often misunderstood: Wholeness vs Unwholesomeness, Perception vs Conception and Belief vs Knowledge. Knowing the true meaning of these ideas will give you great freedom as you seek the enlightenment that is your true nature.

    This episode is sponsored by Health IQ and Casper


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    In This Interview, Steve Hagen and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • His book, Buddhism Plain and Simple
    • The Horse and the Farmer parable
    • Wholeness vs Unwholesome
    • Consider the welfare of other beings in all you do
    • Awareness
    • Perception (the immediate, direct experience) vs Conception (our construct of things)
    • Belief vs Knowledge
    • That we can't arrive at truth through conception
    • That enlightenment is with us all of the time, we're just not aware of it
    • That enlightenment is our natural state
    • The idea of "stream" as self, the Buddha said
    • That the way things appear to be is more of a construct than a reality
    • How picking and choosing is the mind's worst disease
    • Noticing how the mind leans a certain way
    • That a Buddha is a person who is awake
    • The power of simply observing something about ourselves rather than trying to put a stop to it or judging it
    • The Story about the 84 Problems

     

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  • 210: Johann Berlin on Living a Fulfilling Life
    Wed, Dec 27, 2017


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    Johann Berlin has worked with some of the world's greatest leaders, Fortune 500 companies, has spoken at a Ted conference and is in the process of writing a book about what it means to live a fulfilling life. Have you ever found yourself hating your day job? Wishing you could do the thing you truly love? Not sure what would make you happy at work but you know what you're doing now isn't helping? In this episode, Johann shares really helpful and practical approaches that you can start applying today in order to bring more meaning and fulfillment into your daily life - both at work and otherwise.

    Johann Berlin is the CEO of TLEX U.S. Johann has grown TLEX nationwide and into leading institutions and Fortune 500 companies. Prior to joining TLEX, Johann scaled boutique triple bottom line and social sector companies from concept to high-impact with a special focus on innovative and disruptive wellness, leadership, innovation initiatives with the project being mentioned in Harvard Business Review, New York Times, and Wharton Journal.

    Johann has participated as a speaker/facilitator at TEDx London, Stanford Center for Compassion, Harvard Executive MBA Alumni Summit, Wharton School of Business, UC Berkeley’s Leadership Symposium, Yale School of Management, Impact Investor Sustainatopia Conference, GE HealthCare’s Health Ahead Summit Paris, and Dartmouth on Purpose.


    In This Interview, Johann Berlin and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • That what you put your attention on grows
    • What love means in a corporate environment
    • The difference between a question and a wonder
    • Moving from desire to finding things that bring you contentment
    • It's not always what you do but that you have meaningful relationships at work
    • "Do service", doing things with honor, treating things as special
    • How if you hate your job, you don't have the energy to do the things you love
    • What you resist, persists
    • Suppressing your thoughts
    • How hating your job causes you to suffer
    • His troubled youth
    • The role that the kindness of other people has played in his life
    • His three reflections on kindness:
    • We choose who we are kind to
    • No act is too small
    • The starfish story
    • Don't lose hope
    • Choosing to show up in the moment
    • If you honor the moment, you can choose to show up for it
    • Living wisely with the changing, advancing age


    Johann Berlin Links

    Homepage

    Twitter 

     

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  • 209: Andrea Lieberstein on Mindful Eating to Nourish our Whole Selves
    Wed, Dec 20, 2017


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    Andrea Lieberstein can teach you how to nourish your whole self so that you can have a healthier relationship with food. What does that mean? Well, often, we turn to food to nourish parts of our lives that it is not equipped to nourish. Have you ever turned to food to soothe anxiety or stress? This is a really common way that we ask food to do something that it's not meant to do. In this episode, Andrea teaches specific strategies for how to bring mindfulness into the act of eating. These practical, multi-pronged approaches are ones that you can bring to your very next encounter with food.

    Andrea Lieberstein is a mindfulness-based registered dietitian nutritionist, mindful eating (MB-EAT) and mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) instructor and coach, trainer, and registered yoga instructor has specialized in helping people transform their lives for over 25 years. She leads mindfulness meditation and mindful eating trainings and retreats at retreat centers across the country and internationally. Her individual coaching sessions are accessible to anyone through phone or a virtual video office. She utilizes Mindfulness-Based Eating Awareness Training (MB-EAT), MBSR, MSC (Mindful Self-Compassion) and other mindfulness-based and mindful eating practices in her private practice working with individuals on a wide range of disordered eating, healthy weight management, body image and stress-related issues and health concerns.

    Her latest book is called: Well Nourished: Mindful Practices to Heal Your Relationship with Food Feed Your Whole Self, and End Overeating


    In This Interview, Andrea Lieberstein and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • Her book, Well Nourished: Mindful Practices to Heal Your Relationship with Food Feed Your Whole Self, and End Overeating
    • The importance of what we pay attention to
    • The 8 bodies that we can nourish
    • Being "fully resourced"
    • Identifying your intention to have a better relationship with food
    • Bringing mindful awareness to our eating triggers and our own bodies
    • Learning to tune into hunger, fullness, cravings
    • Making conscious, informed choices when it comes to food
    • Honoring ourselves and appreciating others at holiday mealtimes
    • Savoring our food so that we're really present and not on autopilot
    • A mindful check-in: Pause, Deep Breaths, Ask "What is Present?"/"What's Going on Here?", Ask, "What do I really need right now?", Take a moment to reflect on your food
    • Highly processed food
    • The myth of needing to wait 20 minutes to know whether or not we're full
    • Satisfaction at mealtime
    • Making one meal or snack a day a silent one
    • The 8 Bodies we need to Nourish: Physical, Emotional, Psychological, Social, Intellectual, Creative, Spiritual, and Worldly Nourishment
    • How to deal with emotions in other ways than turning to food
    • "Surfing the urge"
    • Loving-kindness and cravings


     

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  • 209: Bonus: The Why Try Effect with Dr. Jon Mills
    Mon, Dec 18, 2017


    Dr. Jon Mills is back and in this episode we discuss a paper that talks about self stigmatization and the "why try" effect.

    Self-stigma and the “why try” effect: impact on life goals and evidence-based practices

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2694098/

    Many individuals with mental illnesses are troubled by self-stigma and the subsequent processes that accompany this stigma: low self-esteem and self-efficacy. “Why try” is the overarching phenomenon of interest here, encompassing self-stigma, mediating processes, and their effect on goal-related behavior. In this paper, the literature that explains “why try” is reviewed, with special focus on social psychological models. Self-stigma comprises three steps: awareness of the stereotype, agreement with it, and applying it to one’s self. As a result of these processes, people suffer reduced self-esteem and self-efficacy. People are dissuaded from pursuing the kind of opportunities that are fundamental to achieving life goals because of diminished self-esteem and self-efficacy. People may also avoid accessing and using evidence-based practices that help achieve these goals. The effects of self-stigma and the “why try” effect can be diminished by services that promote consumer empowerment.

  • 208: Peter Block: Freeing Yourself from Consumer Culture
    Wed, Dec 13, 2017


    Peter Block pursues the big questions in his life. What does that mean? Well, after listening to this episode, you'll know and I'll bet you'll do it, too. Peter has such a way with words that when he chooses them and puts them together, deep, profound wisdom is conveyed. It may be 4 words he speaks, but the truth behind them humans have experienced since the beginning of time. In this episode, he introduces you to perspectives on the free market consumer ideology that will set you free. Does it sound like I'm overpromising? You be the judge. (Hint: I'm not).


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     Peter Block is an author, consultant and citizen of Cincinnati, Ohio. His work is about empowerment, stewardship, chosen accountability, and the reconciliation of community.

    Peter is the author of several best selling books. The most widely known being Flawless Consulting: A Guide to Getting Your Expertise Used.  In addition, he has published Community: The Structure of Belonging, The Abundant Community: Awakening the Power of Families and Neighborhoods, and The Answer to How Is Yes: Acting on What Matters

    The books are about ways to create workplaces and communities that work for all. They offer an alternative to the patriarchal beliefs that dominate our culture. His work is to bring change into the world through consent and connectedness rather than through mandate and force.

    He is a partner in Designed Learning, a training company that offers workshops designed by Peter to build the skills outlined in his books. He received a Masters Degree in Industrial Administration from Yale University in 1963; he performed his undergraduate work at the University of Kansas.

    Peter serves on the Boards of Directors of Cincinnati Classical Public Radio; Elementz, a Hip Hop center for urban youth; and LivePerson, a provider of online engagement solutions. He is on the Advisory Board for the Festival in the Workplace Institute, Bahamas. He is the first Distinguished Consultant-in-Residence at Xavier University. With other volunteers in Cincinnati, Peter began A Small Group, whose work is to create a new community narrative and to bring his work on civic engagement into being.

    His latest book is called: An Other Kingdom: Departing the Consumer Culture


    In This Interview, Peter Block and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • His book, An Other Kingdom: Departing the Consumer Culture
    • "I shop, therefore I am"
    • The 4 pillars of the free market consumer ideology under which we live: Scarcity, Certainty, Perfection, and Privatisation
    • If we believe in scarcity, then it's "I win, You loose" or "You win, I lose"
    • The scarcity mindset is a lie
    • We are drawn to leaders who give us the feeling of certainty
    • "A high control civilization"
    • The longing for perfection, or "Is something wrong with me?"
    • Privatisation, or the implementation of Scarcity, Certainty, and Perfection
    • Privatisation says that you cannot trust the collective
    • In order to live the first 3 pillars, it's me vs the government
    • Perhaps, rather than happiness, freedom, and meaning are the point
    • The importance of having a purpose
    • Have we rendered our youth and the elderly purposeless?
    • The problem with consumerism is that no matter how much you have, it's never enough
    • The creation of modernism
    • Neighborliness and Covenant
    • His book, The Answer to How is Yes
    • That questions bring us together and answers alienate us
    • That sadness isn't a problem to be solved, rather, part of being human
    • If someone can convince you that something is wrong with you, they have control over you

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  • 207: Shozan Jack Haubner: Living with Leonard Cohen and a Zen Sex Scandal
    Tue, Dec 05, 2017


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    Shozan Jack is a fascinating guy. He grew up in a Catholic home, studied philosophy, has been a stand-up comedian and has authored two books and many essays. He's got the gift of striking your funny bone in one sentence and then in the very next sentence, striking the center of your heart and mind in a profound way. In this episode, which is part 2 of a two-part interview, you'll hear him talk about his experience living as a monk inside of a Buddhist monastery, being a monk alongside Leonard Cohen, dealing with a sex scandal at his monastery, and what it has been like to transition into living his life back in the world and the many teachings with great wisdom along the way.

     -------------

    Shozan Jack Haubner is the pen name of a Zen monk whose essays have appeared in The Sun, Tricycle, Buddhadharma, and the New York Times, as well as in the Best Buddhist Writing series. The winner of a 2012 Pushcart Prize, he is also the author of Zen Confidential: Confessions of a Wayward Monk.

    His latest book is called: Single White Monk: Tales of Death, Failure, and Bad Sex (Although Not Necessarily in That Order)


    In This Interview, Shozan Jack Haubner and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • His new book, Single White Monk: Tales of Death, Failure, and Bad Sex (Although Not Necessarily in That Order)
    • How Leonard Cohen spent his time as a Buddhist monk in the monastery
    • The union of contrary things
    • His take on Leonard Cohen's last album
    • The opposite of despair for Leonard Cohen isn't happiness, it's clarity
    • The sex scandal involving his teacher
    • His experience leaving the monastery
    • What's next for him in his life
    • His conversation with a Christian priest about fighting demons
    • Suffering = pain + resistance
    • Letting feelings come and go
    • He calls himself the "middle manager of the middle way"
    • The middle way involves dissolving the distance between self and other, in complete giving, in either receiving or initiating.
    • Also, the middle way is not picking one thing OR another
    • The importance of walking your path when it comes to learning
    • His experience taking Ayahuasca


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  • 206: Shozan Jack Haubner- No Self, an Opium High and a Death Sentence
    Wed, Nov 29, 2017


    Shozan Jack is a fascinating guy. He grew up in a Catholic home, studied philosophy, has been a stand-up comedian, has authored two books and many essays, was a screenwriter and poet and currently lives as a Zen monk and priest. He's got the gift of striking your funny bone in one sentence and then in the very next sentence, striking the center of your heart and mind in a profound way. In this episode, which is part one of a two-part interview, you'll hear him explain the Buddhist concept of "no-self" in such a way that it finally makes sense, hear how even Zen monks chase success and yes - his experience with an opium high and being given a death sentence (spoiler alert: he's still alive).

     Shozan Jack Haubner is the pen name of a Zen monk whose essays have appeared in The Sun, Tricycle, Buddhadharma, and the New York Times, as well as in the Best Buddhist Writing series. The winner of a 2012 Pushcart Prize, he is also the author of Zen Confidential: Confessions of a Wayward Monk.

    His latest book is called: Single White Monk: Tales of Death, Failure, and Bad Sex (Although Not Necessarily in That Order)


    In This Interview, Shozan Jack Haubner and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • His new book, Single White Monk: Tales of Death, Failure, and Bad Sex (Although Not Necessarily in That Order)
    • How it's not about good and evil but rather, where do each come from?
    • The idea of no self
    • Who am I vs. Where am I?
    • That the self is not fixed and it's not solid
    • The self is porous, co-dependent arising through relationships with our surroundings
    • That the worship of success thwarts true fulfillment
    • "No attachment to an outcome"
    • An opium high and a death sentence


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  • 205: Tasha Eurich on Gauging and Growing our Self-Awareness
    Wed, Nov 22, 2017


    Tasha Eurich is an organizational psychologist who is passionate about researching self-awareness and translating that research into practical, actionable information to aid in our discovery and improvement of our own self-awareness. In this interview, you'll be introduced to fascinating scientific research about self-awareness and you'll end up being equipped with some very helpful tools to gauge and grow your own. Since research shows that 95% of people think that they're very self-aware but in reality, only 10% actually are, statistically speaking, you're probably going to want to listen to this episode.


     Tasha Eurich is a workplace psychologist, speaker, author, and principal of The Eurich Group. She helps organizations succeed by improving the effectiveness of their leaders and teams. She works with executives in Fortune 500 organizations and serves on the faculty of the Center for Creative Leadership. Her articles have appeared in several magazines and journals including Chief Learning Officer Magazine, The Journal of Business Psychology, and The Work Style Magazine. Her first book, Bankable Leadership: Happy People, Bottom-Line Results, and the Power to Deliver Both, was published in 2013.

     

    Her latest book is called: Insight: Why We're Not as Self-Aware as We Think, and How Seeing Ourselves Clearly Helps Us Succeed at Work and in Life 


     In This Interview, Tasha Eurich and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • Her book, Insight: Why We're Not as Self-Aware as We Think, and How Seeing Ourselves Clearly Helps Us Succeed at Work and in Life 
    • How self-awareness is the single most important but least examined determinate of success and failure
    • The meta-skill of the 21st century
    • That it took a year to review 800 studies and subsequently define self-awareness
    • How self-awareness is made up of 2 types of knowledge of ourselves: internal self-awareness (how we see ourselves) and external self-awareness (how others see us)
    • That 95% of people think that they're very self-aware but the research shows that we're not as self-aware as we think we are - about 10% actually are
    • The 7 pillars of self-awareness:
    • They understand their values
    • They understand their passions
    • They understand their aspirations
    • They understand their "fit"
    • They understand their patterns
    • They understand their reactions (momentary reactions to the world, our strengths, and our weaknesses)
    • They understand the impact they have on other people
    • How to do an audit on the 7 pillars to determine your levels of self-awareness
    • That a lot of us actually don't want to know the truth
    • Braver but wiser
    • 3 blind spots: Knowledge blindness, Emotion blindness, and Behavior blindness
    • The cult of self
    • Self-absorption vs self-awareness
    • How it's easier to feel great about ourselves rather than taking the steps to actually become great
    • Pairing self-awareness with self-acceptance
    • The role of rumination
    • Asking what instead of why
    • The role of our past in self-awareness
    • A daily check-in


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  • 205: Bonus: Thanksgiving Binge
    Thu, Nov 16, 2017


    Eric chats with Anne Bogel of What Should I Read Next? about their favorite episodes on each other podcasts!

    Feast on these shows @ www.Wondery.com/Thanksgiving  


    The One You Feed Binge:


    What Should I Read Next? Binge:

  • 204: Scott Kiloby on Awareness and Non-Duality
    Tue, Nov 14, 2017


    Scott Kiloby is a non-dual teacher who wants to help you and others experience awareness and no self in this lifetime. He helps people recover from addiction and has published a powerful book, the contents of which he discusses In this interview. Specifically, he describes portals to recognizing awareness that you can try immediately. It's a different way of approaching a transformational way of life and you won't want to miss it.

    Scott Kiloby is a noted author and international speaker on the subject of freedom through non-dual recognition (authentic spiritual awakening as it is taught in the East).

    He is the author of seven books and has traveled the world extensively giving lectures, workshops and intensives on spiritual awakening and the healing of addiction, anxiety, depression and trauma.

    Scott is the co-founder of the Kiloby Center for Recovery in Palm Springs California, the first addiction, anxiety, depression, and trauma Intensive Outpatient Program to focus primarily on mindfulness. Scott is also the co-owner of the Natural Rest House, a detox and residential center in La Quinta, California.

    His books include  Living Realization: A simple, plain English guide to non-dualityNatural Rest for Addiction: A Radical Approach to Recovery Through Mindfulness and Awareness and The Unfindable Inquiry: One Simple Tool to Overcome Feelings of Unworthiness and Find Inner Peace


     In This Interview, Scott Kiloby and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • His book, Living Realization: A simple, plain English guide to non-duality
    • The definition of non-duality
    • Non-dual awakening
    • That the ego is a suffering mechanism
    • The false self
    • The possibility of waking up from a separate self mentality
    • How we are not our thoughts, we are the thinker of our thoughts
    • The necessity of experiencing awareness
    • Portals to recognizing awareness
    • Let all appearances be as they are
    • The power of not resisting what is happening
    • Suffering = Pain + Resistance
    • Seeing that all appearances are inseparable
    • Life as a seamless reality & the thoughts that break things up
    • The fact that seeking has resistance in it
    • Self-inquiry
    • The persistence of trauma, shame, addiction and the core story


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  • 203: Eric Maisel: Rethinking Mental Health
    Wed, Nov 08, 2017


    Dr. Eric Maisel is a prolific writer, to say the least. His numerous publications span the human experience and explore how to interact with the various situations that one may encounter. In this interview, he discusses a couple of his books and spends a great deal of time explaining how he thinks depression should be treated vs how it is currently being diagnosed and treated. It's a different way of thinking about this subject and if it's a topic you're interested in, you owe yourself a listen.


    This week we talk to Eric Maisel

    Eric Maisel, Ph.D., is is the author of more than 40 books. His titles include, Why Smart People HurtMaking Your Creative MarkThe Van Gogh BluesMastering Creative Anxiety, and Creativity for Life

    In addition, Dr. Maisel is at the forefront of the movement to rethink mental health. He writes the Rethinking Psychology blog for Psychology Today and among his books in this area are Rethinking Depression and The Future of Mental Health.

    His latest book is called Overcoming Your Difficult Family: 8 Skills for Thriving in Any Family Situation.


     In This Interview, Eric Maisel and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • His book, Overcoming Your Difficult Family: 8 Skills for Thriving in Any Family Situation
    • His book, The Future of Mental Health
    • The smartness to understand what's going on with your family
    • The strength to make the changes that you need to make
    • The strength to be calm, or have a difficult conversation
    • Having clarity about what's going on
    • Awareness of the situation
    • The courage to make change because change has consequences
    • The skill of presence
    • Being resilient - family members, especially siblings, don't go away like other relationships
    • Visualizing the "calmness switch" within you
    • The importance of learning one anxiety management tool because you will have anxiety in life
    • How you name the problem often directs you to the situation
    • The importance of language
    • The importance of knowing the causes of things regarding your health
    • Living intentionally, identifying your life purposes and making meaning in your life
    • How thinking that all we are is matter, chemicals etc can lead people to feel less excited about living
    • Each person has to make the decision to opt to matter, to decide that you matter and that your decisions matter
    • The cultural trance of tv
    • www.madinamerica.com
    • Stigmatization of mental health
    • The three parts of personality: Original Personality, Formed Personality, Available Personality



  • 202: Maia Szalavitz: A New Lens on Addiction
    Wed, Nov 01, 2017


    Maia Szalavitz is an American reporter and author who has focused much of her work on the topic of addiction. In this paradigm-shifting interview, she explains what she means by claiming that addiction is a learning disorder, a developmental disorder. It's a different way of thinking of addiction than it being a disease or a moral failing. As a result, it has different implications for how it should then be treated. Some of what Maia has to say is polarising and some will immediately make intuitive sense and you'll ask yourself why you haven't thought that way before. Take a listen to what she has to say and let us know what you think.

    Maia Szalavitz is one of the premier American journalists covering addiction and drugs. She is co-author of Born for Love and The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog, both with Dr. Bruce D. Perry. Her book, Help at Any Cost is the first book-length expos? of the “tough love” business that dominates addiction treatment. She writes for TIME.com, VICE, the New York Times, Scientific American Mind, Elle, Psychology Today and Marie Claire among others.

    Her latest book is Unbroken Brain: A Revolutionary New Way of Understanding Addiction


     In This Interview, Maia Szalavitz and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • Her book, Unbroken Brain: Why Addiction is a Learning Disorder and Why it Matters
    • That your brain becomes what it does - that the more you repeat an activity, the easier it becomes
    • How addiction is a developmental disorder
    • That learning is critical to addiction
    • The problems with discussion about addiction as a disease
    • Arguing that addiction is a disease and then treating it like a moral failing
    • How addiction resets your priorities and therefore you'll make very different decisions
    • Addiction = compulsive behavior that continues despite negative consequences
    • How illogical it is then to try and address addiction by focusing on implementing additional negative consequences
    • The complexity of addiction, genes + culture + timing
    • The developmental history that gets you to addiction
    • How the drug isn't the problem and our efforts to simply get rid of it isn't a helpful solution
    • Addiction as a learning disorder that is characterized by a resistance to punishment
    • The problem with "rock bottom" is that it can only be identified retrospectively, it's not helpful scientifically, and it implies a moral component of having to reach a point of extreme degradation before you can stop
    • What the motivation is that turns people to recovery
    • How addicts keep using because they can't see how they can survive any other way and recovery begins when you start to see that there are other options
    • That people with addiction are living at a point of learned helplessness, so the role of hope and other ways of managing their life is critical to recovery and it can start before they quit their drug(s) of choice
    • Addiction as a coping mechanism
    • The pleasures of the hunt vs the pleasures of the feast
    • Wanting vs Liking
    • Different motivational states
    • Addiction as escalating wanting
    • Stimulants and an escalating cycle of never being satisfied and chasing that satisfaction
    • 12 Step Programs: are they effective? are they useful?
    • The role of medicine in a developmental disorder
    • Looking at addicts as students who need to learn better coping skills rather than sinners who need to be forced to repent
    • That people who are addicted are PEOPLE and we need to treat them that way



  • 201: Lewis Howes on the Masks of Masculinity and Healing His Childhood Wounds
    Wed, Oct 25, 2017


    Lewis Howes is a lot of things. He's been an athlete, a podcast host, an author. He's worn a lot of masks, you could say. In fact, that's exactly what he says in his new book and in this episode. He talks about how wearing these masks has not served him well in his life. In this interview, you'll hear him talk about the various types of masks men wear to protect themselves from being vulnerable, from showing their true selves. While it might "work" on the outside, it destroys them on the inside and we see the manifestations of it in our society today.

    Before Lewis Howes became a media sensation for empowering people and sharing 'Greatness' across the globe, he had his share of obstacles to overcome. From having a learning disability, which led to being alone and bullied in school, to being sexually abused as a child, to being injured and broke on his sister’s couch, Lewis’s story is the perfect example of how anybody can overcome the obstacles in their life and achieve greatness. Fast forward a few short years, and Lewis is a New York Times Bestselling author of the hit book, The School of Greatness and author of his latest book, The Mask of Masculinity. He is a lifestyle entrepreneur, high performance business coach and keynote speaker. A former professional football player and two-sport All-American, he is a current USA Men’s National Handball Team athlete. He hosts a top 100 podcast in the world, The School of Greatness, which has over 40 million downloads since it launched in 2013. He was recognized by The White House and President Obama as one of the top 100 entrepreneurs in the country under 30. Lewis has been featured on Ellen, The New York Times, People, Forbes, Inc, Fast Company, ESPN, Sports Illustrated, Men’s Health, The Today Show and other major media outlets.

     

    In This Interview, Lewis Howes and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • His book, The Masks of Masculinity: How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships and Live Their Fullest Lives
    • How the masks he used to wear created success on the outside but destroyed him on the inside
    • How male violence comes from men who are hurting on the inside
    • The know-it-all mask
    • The invincible mask
    • The joker mask
    • The material mask
    • The sexual mask
    • The athlete mask
    • The aggressive mask
    • How important it is to live in service and lift others up
    • That the comparison game can crush us
    • How the real you is underneath all of the masks you wear
    • How he works on maintaining his real self on the outside
    • That when he lets the mask take over, he's showing weakness because it has power over him
    • How he really wants to show up in the world
    • How women talk about struggles very often with their female friends but men do not
    • How unhealed pain causes pain somewhere else


  • 200: Poe Ballantine
    Wed, Oct 18, 2017


    Poe Ballentine is a great writer. Thank goodness for that because it's through his gift and skill of writing that we get a glimpse into the experiences of his life which reach us at a moving level of beauty, truth, humility, and struggle. In this interview, you'll hear him talk about these things and the gift you'll get as a result is the knowledge and comforting feeling of knowing you are not alone in your struggles through life. You'll learn through hearing what he's learned about self-growth and self-improvement. Give yourself the gift of listening to this episode. You won't be sorry.


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    Poe Ballantine is a fiction and nonfiction writer known for his novels and especially his essays, many of which appear in The Sun. One of Ballantine’s short stories was included in Best American Short Stories 1998 and two of his essays have appeared in the Best American Essays series. His essays and short stories have also appeared in the Coal City Review, Kenyon Review, and Atlantic Monthly. Tom Robbins said " Poe Ballantine is the most soulful, insightful, funny, and altogether luminous “under-known” writer in America"

    His books include Love and Terror on the Howling Plains of NowhereGuidelines for Mountain Lion Safety501 Minutes to Christ: Personal Essays and Things I Like About America: Personal Essays


    In This Interview, Poe Ballantine and I Discuss...

    • The Wolf Parable
    • Finding himself or becoming someone else
    • The Moral Mechanism of the Molecule
    • Asking, in your own experience - rather than simply in ideas, what do you know?
    • How he found his way out of despair
    • Doing enough work to exonerate yourself
    • How important it is as an artist, creator to be hyper-aware of your life and environment
    • The price of individualism in America
    • How he loves to take care of his wife and son
    • How difficult it is to be married
    • That marriage is the molecular foundation of our society
    • His book - a true crime story, Love and Terror on the Howling Plains of Nowhere

     


    Poe Ballantine Links

    Homepage

    Poe Ballantine writings from The Sun


    Please Support The Show with a Donation

     

  • 199: Robert Thurman- Buddhism and the Dalai Lama
    Wed, Oct 11, 2017


      Robert Thurman is the leading American expert on Tibetan Buddhism and he has recently written a book called Man of Peace: The Illustrated Life Story of the Dali Lama of Tibet. Whether you embrace the teachings of Buddhism or not, this episode will educate you on powerful approaches to growing in wisdom and it will also paint a beautiful picture of how the concepts of Tibetan Buddhism apply in today's world. More than meditation and mindfulness, Robert Thurman gets to the heart of what the Dali Lama is working to achieve for all beings to have peace and enlightenment.  This week we talk to Robert ThurmanRobert Thurman is Professor of Indo-Tibetan Buddhist Studies in the Department of Religion at Columbia University, President of Tibet House US, a non-profit organization dedicated to the preservation and promotion of Tibetan civilization, and President of the American Institute of Buddhist Studies. The New York Times recently hailed him as "the leading American expert on Tibetan Buddhism." The first American to have been ordained a Tibetan Buddhist monk and a personal friend of the Dalai Lama for over 40 years, Professor Thurman is a passionate advocate and spokesperson for the truth regarding the current Tibet-China situation and the human rights violations suffered by the Tibetan people under Chinese rule. Professor Thurman also translates important Tibetan and Sanskrit philosophical writings and lectures and writes on Buddhism, particularly Tibetan Buddhism; on Asian history, particularly the history of the monastic institution in the Asian civilization; and on critical philosophy, with a focus on the dialogue between the material and inner sciences of the world's religious traditions. Popularizing the Buddha's teachings is just one of Thurman's creative talents. He is a riveting speaker and an author of many books on Tibet, Buddhism, art, politics and culture, including Essential Tibetan Buddhism, The Tibetan Book of the Dead,  Infinite Life: Seven Virtues for Living Well, Inner Revolution, The Jewel Tree of Tibet, and Why the Dalai Lama Matters. His latest book is a graphic biography of the Dalai Lama called Man of Peace: the illustrated life story of the Dalai Lama of Tibet  In This Interview, Robert Thurman and I Discuss...The Wolf Parable His book Man of Peace: the illustrated life story of the Dalai Lama of Tibet Buddha Nature and Buddhahood Enlightenment: When you get it, you realize that you've always had it Whether or not we can actually reach enlightenment in this lifetime His experience of tasting enlightenment Clear light of bliss The Buddha's mind in us We are the Buddha's reality body That the Buddha is pure love That the future Buddha is currently manifesting as dogs Kalachakra That we can find a way to talk with our enemies and find peace The common theme of "Love Thine Enemy" across religions and traditions How the current Dali Lama is working to lay the path for all beings to reach enlightenment  Please Support The Show with a Donation     

  • Bonus: Eric talk with Dr. Jon Mills about the effects of trauma on current behavioral patterns
    Sat, Oct 07, 2017


    In the first of a new series, Eric talks with good friend and Ph.D. Jon Mills. Today we talk about a seminal paper in our understanding of how adverse childhood experiences can influence our lives decades later. We first explored this work in the conversation with Gabor Mate. More about the study can be foundhere.    

  • 198: Tim Urban Part Two
    Tue, Oct 03, 2017


       Tim Urban writes a pretty famous blog called Wait But Why - have you read it? Whether you have or you've never heard of it before, this episode will not only thoroughly entertain you but it will also help you implement a playful yet powerful approach to growing in wisdom. When it comes to concepts like "the consciousness staircase" or mindfulness about your moment to moment tasks, nothing helps your self-confidence more than reaping the benefits of making good decisions, "out of the fog", in the clarity of awareness. In this episode, Tim Urban teaches you hacks to do just that and you'll chuckle a lot along the way.  This week we talk to Tim UrbanTim Urban has become one of the Internet’s most popular writers. With wry stick-figure illustrations and occasionally epic prose on everything from procrastination to artificial intelligence, Urban's blog, Wait But Why, has garnered millions of unique page views, thousands of patrons and famous fans like Elon Musk His recent Ted talk has been watched almost 15 million times. His articles have been regularly republished on sites like Quartz, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, TIME, Business Insider and Gizmodo. In 2015, Fast Company wrote that “Wait But Why is disproving the notion that thoughtful, long-form content and virality are mutually exclusive.” Urban has gained a number of prominent readers as well: authors Sam Harris and Susan Cain, Twitter co-founder Evan Williams, TED curator Chris Anderson and Brain Pickings’ Maria Popova. Recently, Urban received a call from Elon Musk, who told Urban he liked his writing and asked Urban if he’d like to interview him and write about his companies. Urban accepted, and spent the next six months writing a thorough blog series that Vox’s David Roberts called “the meatiest, most fascinating, most satisfying posts I’ve read in ages.” Since then, Urban’s relationship with Musk has continued: Musk invited him to host SpaceX’s launch webcast, solicited Urban’s input and slide illustrations in a talk he did at the December 2015 Climate Change Conference in Paris, and recently granted him early access to information about SpaceX's interplanetary transport system for use in a post on Wait But Why.  In This Interview, Tim Urban and I Discuss...The Wolf Parable The consciousness staircase That wisdom doesn't correlate with age Step 1: Being in the Fog Step 2: Thinning the fog to reveal context How meditation can help Step 3: Whoa Moments Step 4: We Don't Know What's Going On How he's an agnostic about reality The value of humility How ludicrous certainty can be   Please Support The Show with a Donation     

  • 197: Tim Urban: Wait but Why
    Thu, Sep 21, 2017


       Tim Urban writes a pretty famous blog called Wait But Why - have you read it? Whether you have or you've never heard of it before, this episode will not only thoroughly entertain you but it will also help you implement a playful yet powerful approach to ending procrastination and augmenting your productivity on a daily basis. When it comes to things like building habits or mindfulness about your moment to moment tasks, nothing helps your self-confidence more than following through on something you told yourself or others that you were going to do. In this episode, Time Urban teaches you lots of hacks to do just that and you'll chuckle a lot along the way. Get ready to meet these cast of characters: the rational decision maker, the instant gratification monkey, and the panic monster.  This week we talk to Tim UrbanTim Urban has become one of the Internet’s most popular writers. With wry stick-figure illustrations and occasionally epic prose on everything from procrastination to artificial intelligence, Urban's blog, Wait But Why, has garnered millions of unique page views, thousands of patrons and famous fans like Elon Musk His recent Ted talk has been watched almost 15 million times.His articles have been regularly republished on sites like Quartz, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, TIME, Business Insider and Gizmodo. In 2015, Fast Company wrote that “Wait But Why is disproving the notion that thoughtful, long-form content and virality are mutually exclusive.” Urban has gained a number of prominent readers as well: authors Sam Harris and Susan Cain, Twitter co-founder Evan Williams, TED curator Chris Anderson and Brain Pickings’ Maria Popova. Recently, Urban received a call from Elon Musk, who told Urban he liked his writing and asked Urban if he’d like to interview him and write about his companies. Urban accepted, and spent the next six months writing a thorough blog series that Vox’s David Roberts called “the meatiest, most fascinating, most satisfying posts I’ve read in ages.” Since then, Urban’s relationship with Musk has continued: Musk invited him to host SpaceX’s launch webcast, solicited Urban’s input and slide illustrations in a talk he did at the December 2015 Climate Change Conference in Paris, and recently granted him early access to information about SpaceX's interplanetary transport system for use in a post on Wait But Why.  In This Interview, Tim Urban and I Discuss...The Wolf Parable His blog, Wait But Why The image of the rational mind being trapped inside with an animal How it would be easier if we were just the "animal" How procrastination works: a metaphor Rational decision maker vs the Instant gratification monkey Who has control of the wheel The one thing that the monkey is terrified of: the panic monster Creating your own panic monster by setting external deadlines Which is the alpha character? Chronic procrastinators That when there are no deadlines, you don't really see procrastination happening - and with big life things, this can be very destructive Icky daunting tasks That a building is just a bunch of bricks A book is just a bunch of individual pages  The glorious, large achievement is just a bunch of small, mundane tasks combined The danger of making the bricks too big The importance of keeping promises to ourselves and seeing that track record The power of intentionally starting the day with little wins over the monkey to shift the power dynamic a bit That little steps taken in the right direction gets you there The impact of a habit over time The dark playground vs the dark woods The air is filled with guilt and self-loathing, you're miserable while you're there, rational decision maker asking whyyyy?? The happy playground on the other side of the dark woods The various rides in the dark playground   Please Support The Show with a Donation     

  • 196: Florence Williams: How Spending Time In Nature Has a Scientific, Measurable Impact on improving our health and mood - especially depression!
    Tue, Sep 19, 2017


        Florence Williams shares the scientific research behind the benefit to our mood and our health when we spend time in nature as part of our daily lives. Her book, The Nature Fix: Why Nature Makes Us Happier, Healthier and More Creative is full of practical, intuitive wisdom that can be applied regardless of your lifestyle or circumstances. To that point, you'll be surprised at how little time it takes to have a significant impact on things like depression, anxiety, and stress as well as things like blood pressure and cortisol levels. You may have noticed feeling better after a walk in the woods; this episode will explain why by way of some fascinating research.  This week we talk to Florence WilliamsFlorence Williams is a contributing editor at Outside Magazine and a freelance writer for the New York Times, New York Times Magazine, National Geographic, The New York Review of Books,  and numerous other publications. She is also the writer and host of the new Audible Original series, Breasts Unbound. She is fellow at the Center for Humans and Nature and a visiting scholar at George Washington University, her work focuses on the environment, health and science. Her first book, BREASTS: A Natural and Unnatural History received the Los Angeles Times Book Prize in science and technology. Her latest book is called: The Nature Fix: Why Nature Makes Us Happier, Healthier and More Creative.  In This Interview, Florence Williams and I Discuss...The Wolf Parable Her book, The Nature Fix: Why Nature Makes Us Happier, Healthier and More Creative. The research that supports the fact that when we spend time in nature it can boost our mood That 15 minutes in a forest environment can reduce our cortisol levels Natural Killer Cells (T-cells) The roll of Cypress aerosols Taking in nature as a whole as the benefit That the benefit of nature as a whole being greater than the sum of its parts Nature Deficit Disorder and trying to fill it with other more modern-day things Nature being a better option for some people than meditation Paying attention to our surroundings Achieving a more relaxed, restorative state The effect of the sound of birds The benefits of walking alone in nature The benefits of walking with others in nature Attention Restoration Theory The effects of spending time in nature on different parts of the brain The amount of time we should spend in nature Biophilia    Please Support The Show with a Donation     

  • 195: Danielle Laporte: Has your self-help become self-criticism?
    Tue, Sep 12, 2017


    Danielle LaPorte is all about being honest when it comes to her experiences on the path to self-improvement, self-growth, and self-empowerment. In this interview, she shares so much of herself that you will remark how brave, vulnerable and real she is and how much you can relate to what she's felt, thought and been through. If you've ever struggled with feeling overwhelmed by the obligations in your life or if walking on a spiritual path has felt like another item on an ever-growing checklist, then this episode is a must listen for you.  This week we talk to Danielle LaporteDanielle LaPorte is an invited member of Oprah’s inaugural SuperSoul 100, a group who, in Oprah Winfrey’s words, “is uniquely connecting the world together with a spiritual energy that matters.” She is also the author of The Fire Starters Sessions: A Guide to Creating Success On Your Own Terms, and The Desire Map: A Guide to Creating Goals With Soul. Her latest book is White Hot Truth: Clarity for keeping it Real On Your Spiritual Path— From One Seeker To Another. Millions of visitors go to DanielleLaPorte.com every month for her daily #Truthbombs. It has been named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes, and called “the best place online for kick-ass spirituality.” Danielle’s multi-million dollar company is made up of nine women and one lucky guy, working virtually from five countries. A powerful speaker and poet, and a former business strategist and Washington, DC think-tank exec, Entrepreneur magazine calls Danielle “equal parts poet and entrepreneurial badass…edgy, contrarian…loving and inspired.  In This Interview, Danielle Laporte and I Discuss...The Wolf Parable Her book,White Hot Truth: Clarity for keeping it Real On Your Spiritual Path— From One Seeker To Another Reframing your obligations into conscious choices Bringing our artistic or creative spirit into everything we do Loosening up under the weight of obligation Spiritual path as yet another thing to achieve, another obligation The practice itself having some delight to it Pain as a motivator, laziness as an obstacle That devotion isn't easy but it's worth it The distinction between pain and suffering That the world is not comprehensible but it is embraceable by embracing the things that are in it Transformation begins with the acceptance of what is Short circuiting the healing process That what's repressed finds a way to sneak out How we have more in common than we have differences    Please Support The Show with a Donation   

  • 194: Scott Stabile: How Being Mindful Of Love, Forgiveness and Empathy Can Transform Your Life
    Wed, Sep 06, 2017


      Scott Stabile has lived through some very difficult things in his lifetime, from feeling shame about his sexuality to the murder of his parents when he was just 14 years old. He can verify that life can be very hard. Yet, he has gone on to live a life full of love, empathy, compassion, and forgiveness. Learn some very practical, applicable wisdom in this episode. You will leave the conversation armed with steps to take towards a happier life for yourself.    This week we talk to Scott StabileScott Stabile’s inspirational posts and videos have attracted a huge and devoted social media following. His previous works include Just Love, Iris, and the Li’l Pet Hospital series. Scott also wrote the feature film The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure, an eye-opening experience he writes about in his new book, Big Love. A passionate speaker and love advocate, Scott runs day long empowerment workshops nationally and internationally. He lives in his home state of Michigan with his partner.  In This Interview, Scott Stabile and I Discuss...The Wolf Parable His book, Big Love: The Power of Living with a Wide Open Heart How shame thrives on secrecy How and when he came out as gay How you help others by being yourself To consider making more and more choices in your life from a place of love That awareness is hard work Asking yourself "what does love invite me to do in this moment?" Love as an energy How his parents were murdered when he was 14 years old That love is an action, more so than it is a feeling Choosing to act from a place of love can be an extraordinarily difficult thing as well as an extraordinarily powerful thing to do in the moment The path of empathy Doing your best to connect with the humanity of others, especially when they have opposing views and they're right in front of you How toxic it is to believe that something is unforgivable and that the pathway to it is empathy and compassion Forgiving because not doing so takes a toll on you as a person How good it feels to be loving The importance of self-care That there is choice in sobriety Depression as a syndrome vs a disease How we are all riding the fine line of addiction all the time The importance of building a more fulfilling life How happiness (and all feelings) is not simply a choice Choosing actions that stand a chance to serve our happiness That action helps assuage fear    Please Support The Show with a Donation   

  • 193: Lisa Feldman Barrett: A Conversation about How Our Emotions, Like Depression, Are Constructed in Our Brain
    Wed, Aug 30, 2017


      Have you ever wondered how emotions are made in our brains? This conversation with Lisa Feldman Barrett will explain this and more and as a result, you will be astounded. Full of scientifically backed concepts that you've probably never heard before, your view on how your brain manages how you feel at any given moment will be totally changed after hearing what this author and researcher has to say.   This week we talk to Lisa Feldman BarrettLisa Feldman Barrett, PhD, is a University Distinguished Professor of Psychology at Northeastern University, with appointments at Harvard Medical School and Massachusetts General Hospital. In addition to the book How Emotions are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain, Dr. Barrett has published over 200 peer-reviewed, scientific papers appearing in Science, Nature Neuroscience, and other top journals in psychology and cognitive neuroscience, as well as six academic volumes published by Guilford Press. Dr. Barrett received a National Institutes of Health Director’s Pioneer Award for her revolutionary research on emotion in the brain. These highly competitive, multi-million dollar awards are given to scientists of exceptional creativity who are expected to transform biomedical and behavioral research. Among her many accomplishments, Dr. Barrett has testified before Congress, presented her research to the FBI, consulted to the National Cancer Institute, appeared on Through The Wormhole with Morgan Freeman, and been a featured guest on public television and worldwide radio programs. She is also an elected fellow of Canada’s most prestigious national organization of scholars, the Royal Society of Canada (analogous to the National Academy in the United States).  In This Interview, Lisa Feldman Barrett and I Discuss...The Wolf Parable Her book, How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain The myth of the lizard brain Emotions don't live anywhere in the brain  Neurons being multi purpose The idea of degeneracy How complex emotions are Multi purpose ingredients in your brain (like in recipes) Our brains predict, rather than react, to the next immediate moment (those are our emotions and subsequent actions)  Confirming or Correcting those guesses (or concepts) based on your past experiences How this process is your brain is trying to make sense of the sensory input of your body in the world How it's more efficient to guess in advance and correct in response than it is to react The importance of keeping your body's energy budget in balance We see the world as we believe it to be, through our concepts Interoception - feedback from your body on how it's systems are working Your brain is trying to anticipate what your body is going to need and then provide what's necessary to meet those needs before they arise Tragic Embodiment Most of the time you don't feel sensations from your body in a very precise way and if you do, you feel them in simple terms - "affect" More intense sensations are used to make emotions whereas less intense ones are used to make thoughts and other things How illness is an imbalance in systems in your body and how we experience it How basic body sensations are the cause of our emotions and how we feel How every waking moment of your life is simultaneously physical and mental When your body budget is out of balance/disrupted, you will feel distressed Reframing the feeling of anxiety as "preparing for something tough" and this is a good sign that your body is preparing for something tough Take care of yourself and your body to feel better (sleep, eat, nutrition) Understanding emotion and being more granular in our description is helpful because we better know what to do or not to do about it When you're depressed or anxious, the distress is not helpful if you personalize it    Please Support The Show with a Donation 

  • 192: Sean Carroll: Theoretical Physics and the Meaning of Life
    Tue, Aug 22, 2017


    Think theoretical physics is irrelevant to your everyday life and way over your head? You'll think differently after listening to this interview with Sean Carroll, theoretical physicist, poetic naturalist, and author.The meaning of life, the finitude of life, the choices we make and our experience of happiness and suffering all have a connection back to the scientific realm that will both fascinate and provoke thought in you.     This week we talk to Sean CarrollSean Carroll is a theoretical physicist at the California Institute of Technology. He received his Ph.D. in 1993 from Harvard University. His research focuses on fundamental physics and cosmology, especially issues of dark matter, dark energy, spacetime symmetries, and the origin of the universe. Recently, Carroll has worked on the foundations of quantum mechanics, the arrow of time, and the emergence of complexity. Carroll is the author of The Particle at the End of the Universe and From Eternity to Here: The Quest for the Ultimate Theory of Time, He has been awarded prizes and fellowships by the National Science Foundation, NASA, the Sloan Foundation, the Packard Foundation, the American Physical Society, the American Institute of Physics, and the Royal Society of London. He has appeared on TV shows such as The Colbert Report, PBS's NOVA, and Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman, and frequently serves as a science consultant for film and television.  His latest book is called: The Big Picture: On the Origins of Life, Meaning, and the Universe Itself In This Interview, Sean Carroll and I Discuss...The Wolf Parable His book, The Big Picture; On the Origins of Life, Meaning and the Universe Itself That who we become is a combination of the choices we make and what the Universe gives us The philosophy of Poetic Naturalism - 1 world, many ways of talking about it 3 Levels of Stories: Fundamental, Emergent, Comprehensive What it means to be real You can't make "ought" out of "is" That facts and moral values are different things His perspective on life mattering - that it comes from within, that it's not imposed on us from the outside The fact that we care is the origin of things mattering in this life and world Life is a process, it's something that's happening - always moving and changing - and that there's always something else that we want How his book lays out the design for you to decide how to live your life and what kind of person you want to be The mistake of fetishizing happiness How you cannot separate happiness and suffering in life - especially a life well lived That our goal shouldn't be to reach some state of happiness and stay there because life is a dynamic process and it doesn't work like that The finitude of life The average human lives for three billion heartbeats That the difference between right and wrong is up to us to decide and that can be scary That the world - including us - is only really made up of 3 basic particles and 3 basic forces That the big bang isn't necessarily the beginning of the universe but it's as far back as we can go Physics books for the non-science people - look for books by either Brian Greene or Lisa Randall Life's Ratchet by Peter Hoffman is another interesting book for a non-science person  Please Support The Show with a Donation   

  • 191: Spring Washam: Meditation, Ayahuasca, Trauma and Depression
    Wed, Aug 16, 2017


       This week we talk to Spring WashamSpring Washam is a well-known meditation and dharma teacher based in Oakland, California. She is a founding member and core teacher at the East Bay Meditation Center located in downtown Oakland. She is the founder of Lotus Vine Journeys an organization that blends indigenous healing practices with Buddhist wisdom. In addition to being a teacher, she is also a healer, facilitator, spiritual activist, and writer. Her upcoming book entitled, A Fierce Heart: Finding Strength, Courage, and Wisdom in Any Moment, will be available in stores on November 7th, 2017. She has studied numerous meditation practices and Buddhist philosophy since 1997. She has practiced and studied under some of the most preeminent meditation masters in both the Theravada and Tibetan schools of Buddhism. She has studied indigenous healing practices and works with students individually from around the world. She has completed a six -year teacher-training program under the guidance of Jack Kornfield and is now on the teacher’s council at Spirit Rock Meditation Center in Woodacre, California. Spring is considered a pioneer in bringing mindfulness based healing practices into diverse communities and is committed to enriching the lives of disenfranchised people everywhere. She currently travels and teaches workshops, classes, and retreats worldwide.   In This Interview, Spring Washam and I Discuss...The Wolf Parable His book, A Fierce Heart: Finding Strength, Courage, and Wisdom in Any Moment How she became a meditation teacher How self-compassion is at the heart of Buddhist teachings How being with ourselves in difficult times is an act of mercy How a synonym for mindfulness is remembering How we are always trying to change consciousness Her controversial Peru ayahuasca retreats How meditation and mindfulness was not enough to deal with her trauma Her first ayahuasca ceremony What ayahuasca is The risks of using entheogens The debate in the Buddhist community about this approach Whether you need to go to the jungle for this How we often need multiple approaches to healing ourselves How feeling like you are innately good changes the whole path     Please Support The Show with a Donation   

  • Bonus: Eric Interviewed on Awesome at Your Job Podcast
    Sun, Aug 13, 2017


    Eric is interviewed on Awesome at Your Job podcast.  Lot's of the key ideas from the show are discussed here.

  • 190: Akshay Nanavati- Fear and Depression
    Tue, Aug 08, 2017


       This week we talk to Akshay NanavatiAfter overcoming drug addiction, alcoholism, PTSD from fighting the war in Iraq and recovering from the brink of suicide, Akshay Nanavati has since explored the most hostile environments on the planet and built a business helping people live limitless lifestyles. Combining his life experience with years of research in science and spirituality, he wrote a book called “Fearvana: The Revolutionary Science of How to Turn Fear Into Health, Wealth and Happiness.” Of the book, The Dalai Lama said “Fearvana inspires us to look beyond our own agonizing experiences and find the positive side of our lives.”   In This Interview, Akshay Nanavati and I Discuss...The Wolf Parable His book, Fearvana: The revolutionary science of how to turn fear into health, wealth, and happiness How he got the Dali Lama to write the forward for his book That we don't control what first shows up in our brain How if you feel fear and stress is not your fault The second dart/arrow parable Acting your way into right thinking literally restructures the pathways in your brain The ability to develop a positive relationship to suffering Committing yourself to the worthy struggle Reducing life to the simplest next step Dealing with fear - it's ok to be scared Bringing the rational mind into fearful situations The challenge response Fear is a gift if you believe it to be The growth mindset vs The fixed mindset If you want to be great you have to believe that you are How ego can be both helpful and unhelpful The worthy struggle Keeping things automated in your day so that you can save self-discipline or willpower for the times you need it    Please Support The Show with a Donation  

  • 189: Eric Barker: Success and Happiness
    Tue, Aug 01, 2017


       This week we talk to Eric BarkerEric is a thought leader in the field of success. His humorous but practical blog, Barking up the Wrong Tree, presents science-based answers and expert insight on success in life. Over 270,000 people subscribe to his weekly email update and his content is syndicated by Time, The Week, and Business Insider. He has been featured in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Financial Times, and he was a columnist for Wired. With a writing career spanning over twenty years, Eric is also a sought-after speaker and interview subject and has been invited to speak at MIT, West Point, NPR affiliates, and on morning television. His first book, Barking Up the Wrong Tree: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong is available now. In This Interview, Eric Barker and I Discuss...His book, Barking Up the Wrong Tree: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong How he defines success Achievement, Happiness, Significance, Legacy The dangers of only using one metric for happiness How money is a lever to something else that makes you happy rather than the thing that makes you happy in and of itself There's no finish line in the quest of what makes me feel good We must decide what is "enough" New and novel make our brains happy We must decide what really is going to make us happy in the long run Turning what we do in our lives into games can be helpful in increasing our persistence and grit Games have these attributes: Winnable, Novelty, Goals, Instantaneous Feedback A feeling of progress and meaningful work keeps us engaged Challenging yourself in a familiar task True burnout is when you start to feel pessimistic about your job so you withdraw and then you get poor feedback so you finally disengage Autonomy, Mastery and Purpose A change is as good as a rest That we are telling ourselves stories about what's has meaning and what doesn't How telling your children about their lineage will increase the likelihood they stay away from drugs, stay in school etc Therapy as editing the story we're telling about our lives Cognitive reappraisal The role of positive self-talk I can do it vs I can't take this anymore If you break your arm you wouldn't say "I am broken" you'd say "My arm is broken" Listening to our thoughts from a distance and asking "is this useful?" to be more mindful about what thoughts we identify with We don't choose what makes us happy, we choose what's easy The role of a plan How anticipation is happiness    Please Support The Show with a Donation m is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear. The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?” The grandfather quietly replies, the one you feed  The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee indians but there seems to be no real proof of this. It has also been attributed to evangelical preacher Billy Graham and Irish Playwright George Bernard Shaw. It appears no one knows for sure but this does not diminish the power of the parable. This parable goes by many names including: The Tale of Two Wolves The Parable of the Two Wolves Two Wolves Which Wolf Do You Feed Which Wolf are You Feeding Which Wolf Will You Feed It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

  • 188: Gregg Krech: Procrastination, Taking Action and Mindfulness
    Wed, Jul 26, 2017


       This week we talk to Gregg KrechGREGG KRECH is an author, poet, and one of the leading authorities on Japanese Psychology in North America. His work has been featured in THE SUN magazine, Tricycle, SELF, Utne Reader, Counseling Today, Cosmopolitan and Experience Life. His books include Naikan: Gratitude, Grace, and the Japanese Art of Self-Reflection, A Natural Approach to Mental Wellness, and  The Art of Taking Action.  His newest book, Question Your Life, will be available soon. Gregg and his wife, Linda, founded the ToDo Institute (http://www.todoinstitute.org), a non-profit center in Vermont that uses Japanese Psychology as an alternative to traditional Western approaches to psychology. Over the past 25 years, Gregg has introduced Japanese Psychology, particularly Naikan Therapy, Morita Therapy and Kaizen, to thousands of people through his workshops and online courses. His work supports a blend of the psychological, the spiritual and the practical, and helps individuals to clarify purpose, cultivate gratitude, develop compassion and engage in meaningful action. He is a member of the North American Naikan Counsel and Editor in Chief for the quarterly journal "Thirty Thousand Days: A Journal for Purposeful Living.   In This Interview, Gregg Krech and I Discuss...The Wolf Parable His book, The Art of Taking Actions: Lessons from Japanese Psychology How Eastern wisdom is directed towards taking action, as well as contemplation Taking your practice off your cushion The misguided premise that we have to figure things out in our life before we can act The power of momentum in action when small steps are taken Cultivating gratitude Avoidance, resignation, complaining How accepting things as they are isn't necessarily passive That complaining keeps us stuck in focusing on the trouble in our lives The overlap between ACT and Japenese Therapy Feelings and thoughts are uncontrollable by our will Allowing feelings to be what they are but not letting them inhibit our ability to move forward and take action Taking action based on the needs of the situation rather than just on the feelings we have  How essential it is to step back from our lives and reflect and then make choices on how you need to move forward How most of the time we do not feel like doing the things that need to be done Exercise being an example! The maxim: Lead with the body How if you don't feel like something now, you're probably never really going to want to do it so get it done now That the anticipation is often worse than the consummation His next book that focuses on self-reflection     Please Support The Show with a Donation   

  • 187: Matthew Quick 3rd Time: Mental Health, Alcohol, Anxiety and Getting Healthy
    Tue, Jul 18, 2017


      Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Matthew QuickMatthew Quick is the New York Times bestselling author of The Silver Linings Playbook, which was made into an Oscar-winning film; The Good Luck of Right Now; Love May Fail; The Reason You Are Alive; and four young adult novels: Sorta Like a Rock Star; Boy21; Forgive Me Leonard Peacock; and Every Exquisite Thing. His work has been translated into more than thirty languages, received a PEN/Hemingway Award Honorable Mention, was an LA Times Book Prize finalist, a New York Times Book Review Editors’ Choice, a #1 bestseller in Brazil, a Deutscher Jugendliteratur Preis 2016 (German Youth Literature Prize) nominee, and selected by Nancy Pearl as one of Summer’s Best Books for NPR. The Hollywood Reporter has named him one of Hollywood’s 25 Most Powerful Authors. All of his books have been optioned for film. In This Interview, Matthew Quick and I Discuss...The Wolf Parable His new book, The Reason You're Alive ICATS - what it means and why limiting it in your life is helpful to anxiety How public speaking causes him to have anxiety His calming practices to manage his anxiety Why dismissing whole groups of people is a mistake The importance and benefit of meeting people who are different than you Comfort the Disturbed and Disturb the Comforted Generational tendencies in worldviews The damage that's done when we shame others about their thoughts The relationship between anger and fear How silencing people is un-American and frustrating The transparency of the main character in his new book Humor is experiencing the unexpected Laughing and Crying give relief to tension The major life changes he has made over the past 3 years and their impact Believing he couldn't function without alcohol and Rxs The long-term benefit of passing on some forms of short term relief The power of the past to continue to live on Every experience leaves an impact on you and affects the rest of your life The power of focusing on process and not result     Please Support The Show with a Donation   

  • 186: Russ Harris Part Two
    Tue, Jul 11, 2017


      Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Russ HarrisRuss Harris is a medical practitioner, psychotherapist, and leading expert in acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). His books include ACT with Love, ACT Made Simple, The Confidence Gap, and The Happiness Trap, which has now been translated into twenty-two languages. He lives in Melbourne, Australia, and travels internationally to train mental health professionals in the ACT approach. In This Interview, Russ Harris and I Discuss...The Wolf Parable The principle of connection in ACT Practicing attention in the shower The exercise of "notice 5 things" How to notice the person you come home to in a new way The physical practices of yoga and tai chi The observing self vs the thinking self The scientific study of spirituality Living a spiritual life even if it's not a religious life Values = desired qualities of action The difference between goals and values Examples of how you can live your values on your way to your goals Committed Action Examining your life to identify areas where your behavior is not reflecting your values The basic ACT formula of "Be Present, Open Up, Do What Matters"     Please Support The Show with a Donation   

  • 185: Russ Harris
    Wed, Jul 05, 2017


    Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Russ HarrisRuss Harris is a medical practitioner, psychotherapist, and leading expert in acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). His books include ACT with Love, ACT Made Simple, The Confidence Gap, and The Happiness Trap, which has now been translated into twenty-two languages. He lives in Melbourne, Australia, and travels internationally to train mental health professionals in the ACT approach. In This Interview, Russ Harris and I Discuss...The Wolf Parable Getting the wolves to cooperate and not battle Embracing even our most difficult feelings The Reality Slap and the Reality Gap An overview of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) The Serenity Challenge How we always have a chance to improve our situation  Taking the action that is needed regardless of what we feel What "psychological flexibility" is Cognitive defusion techniques Recognizing that are thoughts are not facts Asking the question "Is this thought useful"? Noticing and Naming our thoughts and feelings "The Greatest Hits" approach The "I'm not good enough" story" "I'm having the thought that" de-fusion method The artificial distinction between thoughts and emotions The Struggle Switch      Please Support The Show with a Donation  

  • 184: Justin Stenstrom
    Wed, Jun 28, 2017


    Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Justin StenstromJustin Stenstrom the founder of EliteManMagazine.com, the host of the Elite Man Podcast on iTunes, a best-selling author, life coach, and speaker. He has been featured on major news websites like The Huffington Post, Maxim, The Good Men Project, Lifehack, Elite Daily, and many more. In This Interview, Justin Stenstrom and I Discuss...The Wolf Parable His podcast, The Elite Man Taking control of the thoughts in your head Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) Hypnosis How he has battled anxiety, panic attacks, and depression in his life The powerful, subconscious mind vs the conscious mind The role of positive affirmations and suggestions Reprogramming the subconscious mind to be happier What a successful hypnotic session feels like How some people can be hypnotized and others cannot The key learnings from his podcast The guests from his podcast who stick out to him The power of failure or rejection to propel people forward in their lives and/or careers The supplements that he recommends for depression Fish Oil with DHA and EPA Omega 6 and Omega 3 ratio Vitamin D B complex Magnesium Citrate    Please Support The Show with a Donation  

  • 183: Heather Havrilesky
    Wed, Jun 21, 2017


    LA Times- Michael Owen Baker    Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Heather HavrileskyHeather Havrilesky writes the popular advice column Ask Polly for New York Magazine’s The Cut. She is the author of the memoir Disaster Preparedness and the new advice book How to Be a Person in the World. She writes The Best Seller List column for Book Forum and has written for The New Yorker, The New York Times Magazine, The Atlantic, Esquire, The Los Angeles Times, NPR's All Things Considered, and many other publications. In This Interview, Heather Havrilesky and I Discuss...The Wolf Parable Her book, How to Be a Person in the World Coming to peace with your flaws Finding a place within yourself where who you are is enough What a beautiful life is to her How she is constantly checking and rebalancing areas of her life The serenity prayer "Is the juice worth the squeeze?" That touching the same flame can be dangerous to some people Seeing your life as a series of problems instead of a patchwork of things to savor That there isn't an objectively "good way to be" How people are far more complex than we give them credit for The question of "does it serve you" is a good one to ask yourself in relationships Not knowing how to get below the surface with people How she has finally learned to relax around other people That people are trapped in their head To not beat yourself up for falling into the same "pot holes" over and over       Please Support The Show with a Donation   

  • 182: Colin Gawel: Fatherhood and Resilience
    Wed, Jun 14, 2017


      Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Colin GawelColin Gawel is the guitarist of the American rock band, Watershed. Colin also has a solo career both with and without his backing band - Colin Gawel and the Lonely  Bones. The album Superior - The Best of Colin Gawel was released in Dec 2016. Colin also lead writer, editor, and founder of the website Pencilstorm and the owner of the legendary Colin's Coffee in Columbus, Ohio. This conversation was recorded live in Colin's kitchen and is focused on fatherhood in honor of Father's Day this weekend. In This Interview, Colin Gawel and I Discuss...Father's Day His song, Dad Can't Help You Now The challenge of watching your child live life beyond your protection What it feels like as a parent for your child to leave home Talking to your children about addiction in their family history Being on the little league baseball team together as kids How important it is to come back from adversity Doing things for the love of doing them rather than for the anticipated outcome His time in the band, Watershed Keeping things in balance in life That time is precious How we find resilience in life The importance of the people you surround yourself with How he writes about what it's like to be an adult in his music His song, The Words We Say How different people react and interpret his songs differently How unusual it is that as a musician, he prefers to perform sober rather than high on something That he's conscious of how his son sees him consuming alcohol Our mutual love of music His song, Try a Little Faith       Please Support The Show with a Donation   

  • 181: Chris Niebauer
    Wed, Jun 07, 2017


    Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Chris NiebauerChris Niebauer received his Ph.D. in Cognitive Neuropsychology from the University of Toledo where he specialized in left-right brain differences. He has conducted research on consciousness, handedness, beliefs and the sense of self and is currently an associate professor of cognitive psychology at Slippery Rock University in Pennsylvania. When he is not teaching, Chris likes to play guitar, spend time with his family, and work on new books. His new book is called The Neurotic's Guide to Avoiding Enlightenment: How the Left Brain Plays Unending Games of Self-improvement In This Interview, Chris Niebauer and I Discuss...His book, The Neurotic's Guide to Avoiding Enlightenment: How the Left Brain Plays Unending Games of Self-improvement That your thoughts and behaviors should match and when they don't you look to make it happen - Cognitive Dissonance Confirmation Bias The power of gratitude The mechanics of thoughts themselves The law of opposition Why if you accept a bad mood, it begins to dissipate That the universe is always becoming something that it isn't The good and bad news about the ego The impermanence of "things" The eternal nature of "verbs" The often incorrect storytelling, or pattern finding nature of the left brain The left brain interpreter The ego as a story that we tell ourselves The challenge of finding consciousness in the brain "Doing" rather than "having" consciousness The analogy of jogging to consciousness or ego: if you stop jogging and pat yourself down trying to find the "jogging" in you. It's a verb, not a noun The connection between pattern finding and depression vs anxiety A state of enlightenment and the left, pattern-finding brain How we want the universe to be a mystery       Please Support The Show with a Donation   

  • 180: Thomas Sterner
    Wed, May 31, 2017


      Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Thomas SternerThomas Sterner is the founder and CEO of The Practicing Mind Institute. He is considered an expert in Present Moment Functioning. He is a popular and in-demand speaker who works with high-performance individuals including, athletes, industry groups and individuals, helping them to operate effectively within high-stress situations so that they can break through to new levels of mastery. He has been featured in top media outlets such as NPR and Fox News. He is the author of the best seller The Practicing Mind. His latest book is called Fully Engaged: Using the Practicing Mind in Daily Life In This Interview, Thomas Sterner and I Discuss...His newest book, Fully Engaged: Using the Practicing Mind in Daily Life How you can't change anything that you're not aware of That most of us spend our day as someone in their thoughts as opposed to someone who is having thoughts Meditation being the vehicle for growing in self-awareness Learning to recognize the truth that "I am not my thoughts, I am the one who has thoughts" The strengths of being observer oriented rather than in a state of reactivity That people who think they've had a "bad meditation" have actually had a very good meditation That meditation is never a done task The value of thinking of meditation like you do exercising The innate sense in us that is misinterpreted That the desire to expand is built into our DNA The power of the question, 'And then what?" That real perfection is the ability to expand infinitely It's the interpretation of the experience that makes it feel the way it does Making decisions about how to handle a "road block" beforehand How we can control our emotions and doing so is a skill The difference between a feeling and the truth The importance of setting goals with accurate information How you have to be in a situation to learn how to function in that situation That struggle is a sign that we are expanding and learning and up against our threshold   Please Support The Show with a Donation   

  • 179: Dani Shapiro
    Wed, May 24, 2017


    Credit Kwaku Alston    Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Dani ShapiroDani Shapiro is the bestselling author of three memoirs and 5 novels.  Her work has appeared in The New Yorker, Granta, Tin House. The New York Times Book Review, The Los Angeles Times, and has been broadcast on NPR's “This American Life”.  Her newest book is Hourglass: Time, Memory, Marriage   In This Interview, Dani Shapiro and I Discuss...Her newest book, Hourglass: Time, Memory, Marriage Her book, Devotion: A Memoir How we are all connected Her history with Orthodox Judaism This sense that she had to pray though she didn't know who or what she was praying to Her process of figuring out what she believes in a spiritual realm Living inside the questions, exploring spiritual wisdom How she moved away from an all or nothing mentality That if her only two choices are "all or nothing", she's going with nothing With her book Devotion: A Memoir, she wrote the book so that she could go on the journey, not the other way around "If you want to do something, begin it, because action has magic, grace and power in it." - Goethe The "third thing" that's essential in relationships What it means to walk through life with another person What it is like to be comfortable not knowing things in life The saying "we can make the best out of everything that happens" vs "everything happens for a reason" Her parents terrible accident The death of her father and it's effect on her life   Please Support The Show with a Donation   

  • 178: Peter Singer
    Wed, May 17, 2017


    Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Peter SingerPeter Albert David Singer, is an Australian moral philosopher. He is the Ira W. DeCamp Professor of Bioethics at Princeton University and a Laureate Professor at the Centre for Applied Philosophy and Public Ethics at the University of Melbourne. He specializes in applied ethics and approaches ethical issues from a secular, utilitarian perspective. He is known in particular for his book Animal Liberation, in which he argues in favor of vegetarianism, and his essay Famine, Affluence, and Morality, in which he argues in favor of donating to help the global poor. For most of his career, he was a preference utilitarian, but he announced in The Point of View of the Universe that he had become a hedonistic utilitarian. On two occasions, Singer served as chair of the philosophy department at Monash University, where he founded its Centre for Human Bioethics. In 1996 he stood unsuccessfully as a Greens candidate for the Australian Senate. In 2004 Singer was recognized as the Australian Humanist of the Year by the Council of Australian Humanist Societies, and in 2006 he was voted one of Australia's ten most influential public intellectuals. Singer is a cofounder of Animals Australia and the founder of The Life You Can Save. In This Interview, Peter Singer and I Discuss...His book, Ethics and the Real World: 82 Brief Essays on Things That Matter How he's widely considered the most famous living philosopher Utilitarian philosophy The importance of preventing unnecessary suffering How the world is better today than it's ever been The reasons why we don't donate to help save children across the world Where to find highly vetted charity organizations to donate to How we've evolved to respond to help the person right in front of us but not yet to respond to someone who needs help on the other side of the world The science of measuring happiness Which is a better, more important question: asking people if they're satisfied with their lives or enjoying their lives moment to moment Reducing unavoidable suffering vs. making people happier The link between happiness and money at various levels of society The importance of living in accordance with your values The importance of believing that your life has some purpose Personal identity or the idea of self The public good as a value and then individual liberty as another value Physician-assisted suicide His views on animal rights The value of starting new things later in life and taking on things you may not be great at   Please Support The Show with a Donation  It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

  • 177: Kurt Gray
    Wed, May 10, 2017


    Photo Kris Snibbe/Harvard News Office    Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Kurt GrayKurt Gray is an assistant professor at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill. He received his BSc from the University of Waterloo and his Ph.D. in social psychology from Harvard University. He studies the mysteries of subjective experience and asks such deep philosophical questions as: Why are humanoid robots creepy? Why do ghosts always have unfinished business? Why do grandma's cookies taste the best? And why do adult film stars seem stupid? His research suggests that these questions—and many more—are rooted in the phenomenon of mind perception. Mind perception also forms the essence of moral cognition. In science, he likes to wield Occam's razor to defend parsimony, asking whether complex phenomena can be simplified and understood through basic processes. These phenomena include moral judgment, group genesis, and psychopathology. He has been named an APS Rising Star and was awarded the Janet Spence Award for Transformative Early Career Research.  He was also given the SPSP Theoretical Innovation Award for the article "Mind Perception Is the Essence of Morality." His work has been generously funded by the John Templeton Foundation. He recently published the book,  The Mind Club: Who Thinks, What Feels and Why it Matters In This Interview, Kurt Gray and I Discuss...His book, The Mind Club: Who Thinks, What Feels and Why it Matters People who we perceive as having a mind similar to ours The uncertainty about the minds of others The two fundamentally different factors in how we see minds Agency: the capacity to act and to do Experience: the capacity to feel and to sense The moral responsibility connected to these two things Thinking doers Vulnerable feelers Didactic completion The objectification of women That child abuse often occurs with parents who view their children as having a higher agency than they are capable of having The danger of inferring intention Moral typecasting That we treat our heroes poorly The Just World theory How we rationalize our behavior That we give more sympathy to people who are at a greater distance from us The poorer you are, the more likely you are to believe in God Seeking control as a motivation How to increase self-control The implementation intention study The when and the then and how it takes away self-control entirely What the self is from the perspective of his work The analogy of particle board for the self The way people respond morally is the most essential to our perception of who they are (vs physical traits) That we perceive the world rather than understand it directly  Please Support The Show with a Donation   

  • 176: Sam Weinman
    Wed, May 03, 2017


        Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Sam Weinman about losingSam Weinman is Golf Digest’s digital editor. He previously covered professional golf and the NHL for Gannett Newspapers. His first book is called WIN AT LOSING: How Our Biggest Setbacks Can Lead To Our Greatest Gains In This Interview, Sam Weinman and I Discuss...His book, Win at Losing: How Our Biggest Setbacks Can Lead to Our Greatest Gains The truth that we learn more from losing than we do from winning That you're far better served listening to those who have lost constructively than those who've simply won How you can learn to lose and fail better That sports are a window into everything else in life The difference between losing and failure The '87 Masters lesson How to find the balance between being hard on yourself and beating the sh*t out of yourself The power of talking to yourself like you would a really good friend Shifting the emphasis away from the results and more towards an ongoing process That if you're always the victim, there's nothing you can do about your circumstances The relationship between a growth and a fixed mindset and focusing on the goal vs the results Counterfactual thinking: Focusing on what could have been vs what is The fact that losing teaches you more about who you are than winning teaches you How your past doesn't define you, it prepares you What "not this but that" means Post Traumatic Growth Ways to foster resilience in yourself Cognitive Restructuring How important context and mindset isPlease Support The Show with a Donation  

  • 175: Tom Asacker
    Wed, Apr 26, 2017


      [powerpress] Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Tom AsackerTom Asacker, a popular speaker and acclaimed author, is recognized by Inc. Magazine, M.I.T., and Y.E.O. as a past member of their Birthing of Giants executive leadership program. He is a former General Electric executive, recipient of the George Land Innovator of the Year Award, and a former high-tech business owner. Asacker has been a strategic adviser to startups and Fortune-listed companies. He is the author of critically acclaimed books including his latest, I Am Keats.  In This Interview, Tom Asacker and I Discuss...His book, I am Keats: Escape Your Mind and Free Yourself John Keats and Samuel Taylor Coleridge That once you have a story, that's the end of any change How limiting a story is That we are spinning stories all of the time The difference between fact vs truth How attached we are to our perception of the world That technology promotes the myth that we are in control The truth that you can't learn about life by merely reading about it, you can only truly learn about life by living it Our reasoning mind that differentiates us as animals That life is a journey of paradoxes and ambiguity The importance of being empathizing and being mindful throughout this journey The desire for meaning How everyone is looking for meaning externally in their lives How that won't work because our culture is broken That it is a personal discovery journey to live life How we always have the opportunity to make other people's lives better but we have to be awake in life to do so The importance of control and certainty in our lives How to differentiate the voices in our heads That the end result of anything that we're seeking is a feeling Human nature is to be curious, compassionate and creative What would happen if characters in movies could control their scenes? The result would be crushingly boring movies. Can you see the correlation between this idea and life itself?   Please Support The Show with a Donation   

  • 174: Sarah Kaufman
    Wed, Apr 19, 2017


        Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Sarah Kaufman about graceSARAH L. KAUFMAN is a Pulitzer Prize-winning critic, author, journalist and educator. For more than 30 years, she has focused on the union of art and everyday living. She is the dance critic and senior arts writer of the Washington Post, where she has written about the performing arts, pop culture, sports and body language since 1993. Her book, THE ART OF GRACE: On Moving Well Through Life, won a Barnes & Noble Discover Great New Writers Award, was a Washington Post Notable Book of 2015 and has been featured on NPR’s “On Point with Tom Ashbrook.” Sarah Kaufman recently appeared at the South-by-Southwest Interactive Festival, speaking on a panel inspired by her book, titled, "Can Grace Survive in the Digital Age?" She has taught and lectured at universities and institutes around the country. In 2010 she became the first dance critic in 35 years to win the Pulitzer Prize. In This Interview, Sarah Kaufman and I Discuss...Her book, The Art of Grace on Moving Well Through Life How she defines grace The idea of ease at it relates to grace The three different types of grace that she looks at in her book Physical Grace Social Grace Spiritual Grace That grace exists where we forget ourselves and aim instead to bring pleasure to others The fact that we have a "grace gap" in our current culture The religious take on grace The relationship between overload and grace That grace is a worldview and a philosophy that allows us to take care of ourselves and others Considering the idea of "defying gravity" when considering the idea of grace The paradox of grace That practice makes graceful The graceful balance skill with ease The role of movement in grace Posture - how do you do it and why is it important The grace of a smooth running commercial kitchen How being present is crucial to observing grace That grace doesn't demand perfection, it simply means that we lean into our humanity Tips to practice grace   Please Support The Show with a Donation   

  • 173: Joey Svendsen: Depression and Fundamentalist Christianity
    Wed, Apr 12, 2017


     Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Joey SvendsenJoey Svendsen grew up in Charleston, SC and received a degree in Elementary Education from Winthrop University in 1999. After graduation, he taught school for 5 years and served as a youth minister at New Beginnings Church in James Island. He is now the campus pastor Joey for the James Island Campus of Seacoast Church. His book is called Fundamentalist and describes his journey of growing up in a fundamentalist church while having OCD and depression. He is also part of the popular The Bad Christian Podcast  In This Interview, Joey Svendsen and I Discuss...How the rigid do's and don'ts found in Christianity are so contrary to Jesus How he found a form of Christianity that worked for him, so much so that he became a pastor His podcast, Bad Christian How he grew up in a fundamentalist Christian church as a child with OCD and depression How we can accept that as humans we're flawed and also move forward with a good life Scrupulosity That you can train your brain to be consumed with fear, self-loathing and punishment How his goal is to be a catalyst to unity and understanding That we the people make the country regardless of what's happening in the government The stupidity and ignorance of assuming your beliefs are 100% right and the beliefs of the other side is 100% wrong His beautiful description of depression That it's hard to properly evaluate a situation when your brain is the problem How he manages his periods of depression The importance of having grace with those suffering from depression Thinking of the brain as a physical organ when it comes to depression How important it is to give people the benefit of the doubt How his view of depression has evolved How to be openPlease Support The Show with a Donation  

  • Mini Episode: Depression
    Sun, Apr 09, 2017


  • 172: Mark Shapiro
    Wed, Apr 05, 2017


     Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Mark Shapiro about being authenticMark Shapiro is a former marketing director at Showtime Networks Inc., Mark left his six-figure corporate job after 12 years and is on a mission to bring more of what’s real & authentic to the world. He is the founder of AreYouBeingReal.com, the Host of The One & Only Podcast, and a heralded transformational trainer, coach, and speaker.  In This Interview, Mark Shapiro and I Discuss...His podcast, The One and Only What "authenticity" means to him What it means to live "authentically" Why authenticity is important How focusing on authenticity can build confidence, liberate you and fulfill you How living authentically can bring huge value to the world That it can be hard not to live authentically His choice to leave corporate America People who are not afraid to be themselves People who are afraid to be themselves How living in alignment with your core values can contribute to living authentically That we're either growing or we're dying To always keep the door open to growth and redefining who we are How to remain flexible to new ideas as we age That though we don't like to be uncomfortable, it's rewarding when we take smart risks and try something new How setting goals and being held accountable supports living outside our comfort zones Doing the thing that scares you the most first thing in the day The questions we can ask ourselves to see if we're living authenticallyPlease Support The Show with a Donation  

  • 171: Charles Fernyhough
    Wed, Mar 29, 2017


     Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Charles Fernyhough about the voices in our headsCharles Fernyhough is a writer and psychologist. His non-fiction book about his daughter’s psychological development, A Thousand Days of Wonder, was translated into eight languages. His book on autobiographical memory, Pieces of Light was shortlisted for the 2013 Royal Society Winton Prize for Science Books.  His latest non-fiction book is called The Voices Within. He is the author of two novels, The Auctioneer and A Box Of Birds. He has written for TIME Ideas, Nature, New Scientist, BBC Focus, Guardian, Observer, Financial Times, Literary Review, Sunday Telegraph, Lancet, Scotland on Sunday, Huffington Post, Daily Beast and Sydney Morning Herald. He blogs for the US magazine Psychology Today and has made numerous radio appearances in the UK and US. He has acted as consultant on theatre productions on Broadway and the West End (‘The River’, Royal Court, 2012, and The Circle in the Square, 2014; ‘Old Times’, Harold Pinter Theatre, 2013), numerous TV (BBC1 and Channel 4) and radio documentaries and several other artistic projects.  He was shortlisted for the 2015 Transmission Prize for the communication of ideas. He is a part-time chair in psychology at Durham University, UK, where he leads the interdisciplinary Hearing the Voice project, investigating the phenomenon of auditory verbal hallucinations.   In This Interview, Charles Fernyhough and I Discuss...His new book, The Voices Within: The History and Science of How We Talk to Ourselves The stages of speech in childhood development and how it relates to our inner voice in life The theory that says that our internal speech comes from external speech that we hear/the dialogue we hear as a child which we eventually move inward and it becomes our internal speech Vygotsky's theory What inner speech does for us Inner speech plays a role in regulating behavior It has a role in imagination and creativity It has a role in creating a self That the fact that we create and construct a self, doesn't mean that it is an illusion The theory that says that inner speech is how we bring different parts of our brain together into a coherent narrative How using inner speech skillfully can give us significant advantages in life That talking out loud to yourself actually probably serves some useful function Social speech - private speech - inner speech As the task gets more difficult, children and adults move from inner speech to more private speech How difficult it is to study inner speech The dialogic thinking model How his research that shows it can be helpful to teach mentally ill people who hear voices in their head to think differently about this form of inner speech Theories about why people hear different voices in their head That there is a strong correlation between childhood trauma and hearing voices in one's head as an adult That people hear the voices of the people in books that they've read Experiential crossing How to work with your inner speech to improve the quality of the experience of your life How difficult it is to silence your inner voice so it's better to learn how to productively interact with it, even dialogue with it  Please Support The Show with a Donation     

  • 170: Daniel Levitin
    Wed, Mar 22, 2017


     ©Peter PratoPlease Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Daniel LevitinDaniel Levitin is an award-winning scientist, musician, author and record producer. He is the author of three consecutive #1 bestselling books: This Is Your Brain on Music, The World in Six Songs and The Organized Mind. He is also the James McGill Professor of Psychology and Behavioural Neuroscience at McGill University in Montreal, where he runs the Laboratory for Music Cognition, Perception and Expertise. Dr. Daniel Levitin earned his B.A. in Cognitive Psychology and Cognitive Science at Stanford University, and went on to earn his Ph.D. in Psychology from the University of Oregon. He has consulted on audio sound source separation for the U.S. Navy, and on audio quality for several rock bands and record labels (including the Grateful Dead and Steely Dan), and served as one of the “Golden Ears” expert listeners in the original Dolby AC3 compression tests.  He taught at Stanford University in the Department of Computer Science, the Program in Human-Computer Interaction, and the Departments of Psychology, Anthropology, Computer Music, and History of Science. Currently, he is a James McGill Professor of Psychology, Behavioural Neuroscience, and Music at McGill University (Montreal, Quebec), and Dean of Arts and Humanities at the Minerva Schools at KGI. His latest book is called Weaponized Lies: How to Think Critically in the Post-Truth Era    In This Interview, Daniel Levitin and I Discuss...His new book,Weaponized Lies: How to Think Critically in the Post-Truth Era Evidence-based thinking Critical Thinking The myth that the MMR vaccine causes autism The difference between correlation and causation Belief Perseverance The danger of adopting a belief before all of the evidence is in That we tend to make decisions emotionally rather than based on evidence Persuasion by association How important it is to question the status quo Information overload His book, The Organized Mind What's wrong with multitasking The effect of multitasking Rapid task switching Decision fatigue The benefits of restorative time for the brain His book, This is Your Brain on Music The 6 songs Daniel Levitin gave his friend who didn't really get rock 'n roll The songs he would add to that list now The role of music in our brains How music and the arts can regulate our mood The power of the arts to re-contextualize things for us Music therapy vs Music and emotion The role of opioids in experiencing musical pleasure   Please Support The Show with a Donation     

  • 169: Richard Rohr Part 2
    Wed, Mar 15, 2017


      Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Richard Rohr, againFr. Richard Rohr is a globally recognized ecumenical teacher bearing witness to the universal awakening within Christian mysticism and the Perennial Tradition. He is a Franciscan priest of the New Mexico Province and founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation (CAC) in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Fr. Richard’s teaching is grounded in the Franciscan alternative orthodoxy—practices of contemplation and self-emptying, expressing itself in radical compassion, particularly for the socially marginalized. Fr. Richard is the author of numerous books, including  The Naked Now, Falling Upward, Immortal Diamond, His newest book is The Divine Dance: The Trinity and Your Transformation.In This Interview, Richard Rohr and I Discuss...That the normal two paths for expanding the soul are great love and great suffering Suffering = whenever you're not in control That Jesus is a map of the human journey That if there's no good reason for suffering you have every right to be negative and cynical How the honeymoon period and the grief period are non-dual states What you're learning in these times is how to stay there and if you don't do this you loose the wisdom that comes with suffering If you don't transform your suffering you transmit it That growth occurs when an individual has just the right amount of feeling safe and ok within the conflict And friendship and love give us this safety to hold us Order - Disorder - Reorder How we don't really want to see the pattern of loss and renewal in life When you hear truth, don't ask "who said it?" Just ask, "is it true?" And if it's true, it's always from the Holy Spirit How important the undeserved nature of Jesus' suffering is Grief = Unfinished hurt How we grow up in a world that is disenchanted That it's hard to heal individually when the culture one lives in is so dysfunctional Clear seeing means seeing the whole picture without our filters in place How love applies to imperfect things, and it's a terrible mistake to wait for things that are "worthy" of our love and perfect The reality and wisdom of "carrying the burden of the self" The greek word for sin literally means when you're shooting the arrow and you miss the bullseye which doesn't mean a culpable thing that makes God not like you How the clergy haven't been very motivated to move beyond a simple, punitive version of God because it keeps the laity codependant on the church Relationships based on Guilt and Shame and You Owe Me are largely co-dependent in nature - it passes for love but it isn't Much of religion - the church, catholic and protestant is built on codependence between the laity and the clergy It has been job security for clergy to keep things this way because you keep people coming back on shame and guilt (the lowest level of motivation) The truth is that God is infinite love. Any other version of God cannot continue and it doesn't lead to God's true nature Evil is almost always absolutely sure of itself - it suffers no self-doubt That faith is balancing the knowing and the not knowing How fundamentalist Christians have moved too far away from this That the great sin of America is superficiality How democracy only works if the people have some degree of awareness and critical thinking The incarnation is finding God IN things, in this world Christian meditation is freeing yourself of yourself so that you can see God in everything The "true self" is unique for every person and is also completely united The "false self" (not the bad self) is the raw material God uses to break you through to your true self. It's cultural, it's passingPlease Support The Show with a Donation  

  • Mini Episode: God and the 12 Steps
    Sun, Mar 12, 2017


    Many people could benefit from a 12 Step program to help handle their addictions but the issue of not believing in God can be a real blocker for them. I discuss a way to use 12 Step programs while not believing in God.

  • 168: Richard Rohr
    Wed, Mar 08, 2017


      Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Richard Rohr  Fr. Richard Rohr is a globally recognized ecumenical teacher bearing witness to the universal awakening within Christian mysticism and the Perennial Tradition. He is a Franciscan priest of the New Mexico Province and founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation (CAC) in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Fr. Richard’s teaching is grounded in the Franciscan alternative orthodoxy—practices of contemplation and self-emptying, expressing itself in radical compassion, particularly for the socially marginalized. Fr. Richard is the author of numerous books, including  The Naked Now, Falling Upward, Immortal Diamond, His newest book is The Divine Dance: The Trinity and Your Transformation.In This Interview, Richard Rohr and I Discuss...Non-dualistic thinking That non-dualistic thinking is not a balancing act, but rather it's about holding the tension of opposites The difficulty of living without resolution The human psyche identifies with things - it searches for an identity The story of the tree from the garden of Eden is a warning against thinking one knows what perfect good and perfect evil is. It's a warning against dualistic thinking. Trans-rational thinking is beyond access to the rational mind The 6 things that require trans-rational thinking How we can be active in our world but not hate our enemies That we've confused information with transformation Soft Prophecy That the message of the prophets is only about 2% about foretelling Jesus How important it is to change your mind How we've confused cleaning up, growing up, waking up and showing up in our lives That the ego wants 2 things: to be separate and superior Projectors vs Introjectors That prayer is about changing you, not changing God You'll be as hard on other people as you are hard on yourself   Please Support The Show with a Donation  .

  • 167: Erik Vance
    Tue, Feb 28, 2017


     a   Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Erik Vance about the power of our expectations Erik Vance is a native Bay Area writer replanted in Mexico as a non-native species. Before becoming a writer he was, at turns, a biologist, a rock climbing guide, an environmental consultant, and an environmental educator. His work focuses on the human element of science – the people who do it, those who benefit from it, and those who do not. He has written for The New York Times, Nature, Scientific American, Harper’s, National Geographic, and a number of other local and national outlets. His first book, Suggestible You, about how the mind and body continually twist and shape our realities was inspired by his feature in Discover.   In This Interview, Erik Vance and I Discuss...All the ways that our brain twists reality in order to make what it expects into reality How our brains are driven by expectations How we take the past, apply it to the present to predict the future Whether we were alive at the same time as saber tooth tigers How powerful the placebo effect How the placebo effect actually generates the neurochemicals in our brain we would expect to see It's not that we imagine we feel a certain way; we really do feel it. "It's All in Your Mind" is totally true How we have a wave of information from our brain, and a wave of information from our body; where they meet is what we feel His experience of being electro-shocked at the NIH How our brains don't want to be wrong How we all have different responses to placebo and type of placebos The gene that helps predict whether you might be a placebo responder Placebo and chronic pain Belief and expectation play a large role in chronic pain The trouble to create new drugs given such high placebo response rates How nocebo's work How much of our pain is create by our expectations The power of hypnosis Hypnosis compared to meditation How fallible our memories are How easy it is to create false memories in people   Please Support The Show with a Donation  It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

  • 166: Adyashanti
    Tue, Feb 21, 2017


      Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Adyashanti about waking up Adyashanti, author of The Way of Liberation, Resurrecting Jesus, Falling into Grace, and The End of Your World, is an American-born spiritual teacher devoted to serving the awakening of all beings. His teachings are an open invitation to stop, inquire, and recognize what is true and liberating at the core of all existence. Asked to teach in 1996 by his Zen teacher of 14 years, Adyashanti offers teachings that are free of any tradition or ideology. “The Truth I point to is not confined within any religious point of view, belief system, or doctrine, but is open to all and found within all.” Based in California, Adyashanti teaches throughout the U.S. and in Canada, Europe, and Australia.   In This Interview, Adyashanti and I Discuss...That our work as humans is on the journey from a walking contradiction to a walking paradox That if we see something out of alignment with our value system we feel it in our body as tension That our bodies are our best aid when it comes to navigating our inner consciousness That there are different types of awakening That awakening is a fundamental shift of identity The primary task of any good spiritual teaching is not to answer your questions but to question your answers What to do when you WANT to change but then you can't seem to change The 5 foundations of spirituality What is my aspiration? That wanting to feel pleasure can only take us so far When we start feeling better we'll stop looking deeper Never abdicate your authority That "true" meditation is the art of allowing everything to be exactly as it is That meditation is there for us to get experiential insight into the nature of our being, our consciousness The importance of bringing your intelligence along for the ride in meditation To let go of what the outcome should be in meditation Our whole body is a sensory instrument through which we experience life That self-inquiry is joining the intellectual mind with the contemplative spirit An unresolved deep question is often what sparks an awakening How contemplation is different from meditation and inquiry The three means of evoking insight: contemplation, meditation, and inquiry The Jesus story is a map for awakening How the Jesus story is so compelling What life is like for awakened people That awakening can be sudden and/or it can be a gradual unfolding How enlightenment is the end of one game and the beginning of another The difference between exploration and seeking Whether or not psychedelic drugs play a role in awakeningPlease Support The Show with a Donation  

  • 165: Dean Quick
    Wed, Feb 15, 2017


    [powerpress] Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Dean Quick about the healing power of music Dean Quick, MT-BC is the Program Director and Board Certified Music Therapist for TranscendED, a treatment center for eating disorders. He also provides broader music therapy through his personal practice. He is also a member of the Music Therapy Association of North Carolina.   In This Interview, Dean Quick and I Discuss...His work as a music therapist for people with mental illness How he works with clients who have no musical ability or skill That live music is most effective as well as the client's preferred music in music therapy That music bypasses the cognitive processes of trauma and allows a person to reach a place within themselves that might otherwise be difficult to access How Gabby Giffords has used music to retrain her language That music can ignite the brain unlike anything else Where someone would go to explore music therapy as a patient That music can be used as therapy for children with developmental disabilities How music can be used by anyone as therapy on their own as therapy with some simple approaches Being mindful of the power of music in your own daily life Honoring the feeling in the moment with music Asking yourself "how am I honoring my feeling in this present moment" How we can engage with music in a mindful way to increase the power it has in our lives Using music to pace your practice of progressive muscle relaxation Why it's better to choose our own music rather than buying music playlists that are "for relaxation"   Please Support The Show with a Donation   

  • 164: Emma Sepp?l?
    Wed, Feb 08, 2017


      Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Emma Sepp?l? about success and happiness Emma Sepp?l?, Ph.D is Science Director of Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education and the author of The Happiness Track: How to Apply the Science of Happiness to Accelerate Your Success. She is also Co-Director of the Yale College Emotional Intelligence Project at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and a Lecturer at Yale College where she teaches The Psychology of Happiness.  She consults with Fortune 500 leaders and employees on building a positive organization and teaches in the Yale School of Management’s Executive Education program.  She graduated from Yale (BA), Columbia (MA), and Stanford (PhD).   In This Interview, Emma Sepp?l? and I Discuss...Her book, The Happiness Track: How to Apply the Science of Happiness to Accelerate Your Success The false notion that in order to be successful you have to work so hard that you postpone your happiness The 6 major false theories that are behind our current notions of success The false theory of "You can't have success without stress" That our stress response is only meant to be fight or flight, not "most of the time" That high adrenaline compromises our immune system, our ability to focus, make good decisions The role of meditation in one's success What prevents us from getting into a creative mindset How to manage your energy vs managing your time What we can learn from the resilience in children and animals Where veterans and civilians can go to learn the art of breathing to recover from trauma For Veterans:Project Welcome Home Troops For Civilians:Art of Living How "looking out for #1" can actually be harmful to you Why workplaces are incorporating compassion training   Please Support The Show with a Donation   

  • 163: Srini Rao
    Wed, Feb 01, 2017


      Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Srini Rao about being unmistakable Srini Rao is the host and founder of The Unmistakable Creative podcast. He has written multiple books including the Wall Street Journal bestseller The Art of Being Unmistakable; and his latest book: Unmistakable: Why Only Is Better Than Best He is the creator of the 60-person conference called the Instigator Experience; He has an economics degree from the University of California at Berkeley and an MBA from Pepperdine University. In This Interview, Srini Rao and I Discuss...His book, Unmistakable: Why Only is Better than Best That the process holds so much joy and that there really is no moment of arrival How doing the work itself is the reward and the importance of being present The temptation of trying to copy something that works and expect the same result The three layers under which everyone's unmistakable nature lies Stories, Labels, and Masks The story of I have enough and the story of I don't have enough That labels limit our capacity The importance of constructing environments That 96% of personal development projects fail Just because it's a best practice doesn't mean it's best for you That life is basically just one giant experiment The idea of being ready and how it gets in our way How crucial it is to commit to the process rather than the outcome The insidious nature of validation Our warped perception of longevity   Please Support The Show with a Donation     

  • The Middle Way- Mini Episode
    Sun, Jan 29, 2017


    Please Support The Show With a Donation  The Middle Way One of the wisest teachings I have found is the middle way. Both Aristotle and the Buddha taught it. The Middle Way has been used as a wisdom tool in many traditions.      Please Support The Show with a Donation    Which Wolf are You Feeding Which Wolf Will You Feed It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

  • 162: Greg Marcus
    Wed, Jan 25, 2017


        Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Greg Marcus about the spiritual practice of Mussar Greg Marcus has a BA in Biology from Cornell University, and earned his Ph.D. in biology from MIT.  He worked for ten years as a marketer in the Silicon Valley genomics industry, after which he became a stay-at-home dad, writer, life balance coach, and biotech consultant. Greg’s first book, Busting Your Corporate Idol: Self-Help for the Chronically Overworked, is a five star Amazon best seller. His latest book is called The Spiritual Practice of Good Actions: Finding Balance Through the Soul Traits of Mussar In This Interview, Greg Marcus and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable His book, The Spiritual Practice of Good Actions: Finding Balance Through the Soul Traits of Mussar Mussar: A Thousand Year Old Hebrew Spiritual Practice Soul Traits That you can be too truthful and it can  be counter productive That being untruthful to spare yourself embarrassment is not ok That being untruthful to spare someone else's feelings can be ok And the intention is the most important determiner of whether or not to tell the truth Choice points The evil inclination and the good inclination Mussar helps us by opening the space between "the match and the fuse" That we all have free will but it's not always accessible to us What qualifies as an act of kindness Mussar = "Extreme Spiritual Fitness" Morning Mantra, Daily observations and practices, Evening journaling Mussar helps you specialize and deepen your knowledge and practice of the Soul Traits The four assumptions of Mussar: We all have a divine spark that is occluded by our baggage We all have the same Soul Traits but we have different amounts of each We have a conflict between the good inclination and the evil inclination We all have free will and it's not always accessible to us That patience is the cure for helplessness Mussar: repairing the Soul Traits within us and how it can help the world   Please Support The Show with a Donation   

  • 161: Brian Tom O'Connor
    Wed, Jan 18, 2017


      Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Brian Tom O'Connor Brian Tom O’Connor is an actor, theatre director, cabaret performer, and formerly depressed guy who stumbled onto the source of joy and happiness in the background of all experience.  He is the author of the book: Awareness Games: Playing With Your Mind to Create Joy In This Interview, Brian Tom O'Connor and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable His new book, Awareness Games: Playing with Your Mind to Create Joy Real reality vs Virtual reality Why games are a more effective approach than questions to exploring awareness The fact that you don't have to believe anything to play a game That trying to reproduce an experience isn't doable That trying to get rid of an unpleasant feeling isn't doable That the mind is an excellent servant but a poor master The power of noticing "the whiteboard itself" rather than what's written on it The three basic questions: What's in awareness now? What is awareness? Who/what is aware? The Future Fishing game The Past Catching game The game, Slippery Mind That awareness games can be a good break from a serious meditation practice The benefit of allowing emotions to flow through you The game, Include Include IncludePlease Support The Show with a Donation  

  • 160: Emily Esfahani Smith
    Tue, Jan 10, 2017


      Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Emily Esfahani Smith Emily Esfahani Smith is the author of The Power of Meaning: Crafting a Life That Matters She graduated from Dartmouth College and earned a master of applied positive psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. She writes about psychology, culture, and relationships. Her writing has appeared in the Wall Street Journal, New York Times,Time, The Atlantic, and other publications. Emily is also a columnist for The New Criterion, as well as an editor at the Stanford University's Hoover Institution,   In This Interview, Emily Esfahani Smith and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable Her new book: The Power of Meaning: Crafting a Life That Matters The difference between happiness and meaning That the defining feature of a meaningful life is connecting and contributing to something that lies beyond the self The three criteria of a meaningful life: feeling that one's life is significant in some way, feeling that one's life is driven by a sense of purpose and feeling that one's life is coherent That human beings are meaning-seeking creatures That there's more to life than feeling happy That our current culture doesn't emphasize meaning and purpose Victor Frankel's important work related to the role of meaning in our lives The role of meaning when facing adversity That responsibility and duty are wellsprings of meaning That the wellsprings of meaning are all around us The four pillars of a meaningful life: Belonging, Purpose, Storytelling, and Transcendence The wisdom in what George Eliot has to say about the people that keep the world going in small yet indispensable ways: that the goodness of the world is dependent on their unhistoric acts What kind of relationships lead to a sense of belonging That purpose can come in all shapes and sizes That reflecting on the story of your life can lead to a greater sense of meaning in your life The two different types of storytelling That transcendent experiences are crucial to having a greater sense of meaning in life The good news about what's happening to us as a species     Please Support The Show with a Donation  

  • 159: Koshin Paley Ellison
    Wed, Jan 04, 2017


        Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Koshin Paley Ellison Sensei Koshin Paley Ellison, cofounded the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care,  which delivers contemplative approaches to care through education, direct service, and meditation practice.  Koshin is the co-editor of Awake at the Bedside: Contemplative Teachings on Palliative and End of Life Care . He received his clinical training at Mount Sinai Beth Israel Medical Center and the Jungian Psychoanalytic Association. He began is formal Zen training in 1987. He is a senior Zen monk, Soto Zen teacher, ACPE supervisor, and Jungian psychotherapist.   In This Interview, Koshin Paley Ellison and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable His new book: Awake at the Bedside: Contemplative Teachings on Palliative and End of Life Care The influence of his grandmother on his life and his work The story that changed his life forever That to truly love someone means to love all of the parts of them, even the ones you don't understand or like The importance of asking "where am I contracting away from things around me?" How we get into trouble because of our aversion The power of asking "I'm so curious about why you are angry?" Learning how to feel the feeling without becoming the feeling How his job is not to change people but to be with people That it's difficult for someone to move until their cry has been fully heard and received The healing connection with other people That dying people reflect on how well they loved and who loved them in their lives The recipe of resiliency: Including ourselves in how we care, the importance of community and having a contemplative practice with a group The relationship between having a contemplative practice and caring for the dying Learning how to give and receive freely = generosity To show up with beginners mind, to bear witness and identifying the loving action are the three important teachings for service Operationalized meditation       Please Support The Show with a Donation   

  • Bonus Holiday Re-Issue: Rick Hanson
    Tue, Jan 03, 2017


       This week we talk to Dr. Rick Hanson about hardwiring happiness into our brainRick Hanson, Ph.D., is a neuropsychologist and author of Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence as well as Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love  and Wisdom and Just One Thing: Developing a Buddha Brain One Simple Practice at a Time. He is the Founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom and an Affiliate of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, he's been an invited speaker at Oxford, Stanford, and Harvard, and taught in meditation centers worldwide. An authority on self-directed neuroplasticity, Dr. Hanson's work has been featured on the BBC, NPR, CBC, Fox Business, Consumer Reports Health, U.S. News and World Report, and O Magazine, and his articles have appeared in Tricycle Magazine, Insight Journal, and Inquiring Mind.In This Interview Rick and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable. His latest book: Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence. That feeding the good wolf is a daily habit. How it's our responsibility to feed our good wolf- no one can do it for us. How frequently our brain changes. Experience-dependent neuroplasticity. That our brains are like velcro for the bad and Teflon for the good. Deciding what we cultivate and what do you restrain. The human tendency to overlearn from our bad experiences and under learn from our good ones. Learning to "install" our beneficial experiences. His practice of "taking in the good". The difference between positive thinking and taking in the good. The benefits of realistic thinking over positive thinking. Moving positive memories into longer term memory. How neurons that fire together wire together. Ways to deepen our experiences: Duration, Intensity, Multimodality, Novelty and Salience. The fundamental neuropsychology of learning, Taking on the good in four words: Have it, Enjoy It. How self hate and harshness are not motivating in the long term. Being numb from the neck down. The three-step way to working with negative emotions. The analogy of a garden for how we tend to our minds: Be with the Garden, Pull the Weeds, Plan Flowers.       

  • Holiday Bonus Re-Issue: Glennon Doyle Melton
    Sun, Jan 01, 2017


      This week we talk to Glennon Doyle Melton about staying open to life    In This Interview Glennon and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable. Having to get through the bad stuff to get to the good stuff. Being terrified of pain. If we work with our negative emotions we can transform them into something beautiful. The benefit of sitting with our negative emotions. Learning to use envy as a positive tool. Losing ourselves to pretending and addition. The continuous journey of valleys and mountains. Being "brutiful". How pain is a harsh but great teacher. How a broken heart is not the end of anything, it's the beginning. Using pain as fuel. The mantra "staying open". The power of service and art. We can numb our feelings and hide or feel our feelings and share. The power of the words "Me Too". How getting sober is like recovering from frostbite. Getting sober is hard but being sober is wonderful. The benefit of being forced to our knees. How no one is allowed to try and give you perspective in the middle of your pain. Bringing our whole selves to all our roles in lives. Surface conversations leave us lonely all the time because everyones surface is different, at deeper levels we are all the same. The fear of being honest about who we are.       

  • Bonus Holiday Re-Issue: BJ Fogg- Habits
    Sat, Dec 31, 2016


       This week we talk to BJ Fogg about changing our behaviorDr. BJ Fogg directs the Persuasive Tech Lab at Stanford University. A psychologist and innovator, he devotes half of his time to industry projects. His work empowers people to think clearly about the psychology of persuasion — and then to convert those insights into real-world outcomes. BJ is the creator of the Fogg Behavioral Model, a new model of human behavior change, which guides research and design. Drawing on these principles, his students created Facebook Apps that motivated over 16 million user installations in 10 weeks. He is the author of Persuasive Technology: Using Computers to Change What We Think and Do, a book that explains how computers can motivate and influence people.  BJ is also the co-editor of Mobile Persuasion, as well as Texting 4 Health. Fortune Magazine selected BJ Fogg as one of the  “10 New Gurus You Should Know”. In This Interview BJ and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable The wolf you pay attention to is the one you feed The two main limits in life: time and attention The Fogg Behavioral Model- Motivation, Ability and Triggers How behavior change is about more than motivation Designing effective behavior change Managing the Ability part of the behavioral model Designing behavior to fit into our every day routines The bigger the change the more motivation you need Why taking baby steps is so important How motivation comes and goes How behaviors get easier to do day after day Building upon small successes That the ability to change behavior is not a character issue Keeping habits going during difficult times Creating good triggers Thinking about behavior change as behavior design Super Habits That triggers need to change with context changes The importance of celebrating small habit changes How emotions create habits  

  • Bonus Holiday Re-Issue: James Clear
    Sat, Dec 31, 2016


      This week we talk to James Clear about building habits James Clear is an entrepreneur, weightlifter, and travel photographer. He writes at JamesClear.com, where he talks about scientific research and real-world experiences that help you rethink your health and improve your life. His blog gets millions of visitors per year. In This Interview James and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable. How money can be an addiction that society rewards. How much we over estimate one defining moment versus steady day to day behavior. The aggregation of marginal gains- improve by 1% in everything you do. Small changes can lead to big results. Reduce the Scope, Stick to The Schedule. Not letting your emotions drive your behavior. The difference between professionals and amateurs. It's not the result that matters but the action and habit. The 2 Minute Rule. How willpower often comes after we start, not before. "Start with something so easy you can't say no to it"- Leo Babuta You don't have to be great at the start, you just need to be there. Learning from our failures and seeing it as a data point. Seeing failure as an event, not as part of us. How mentally tough people define themselves by their persistence, not failure. Acquiring more mental toughness or grit. How 21 days to create a habit is a myth. Missing a habit once in awhile is not a big deal.       

  • Holiday Bonus Re-Issue: Noah Levine- Meditation, Suffering and Mindfulness
    Thu, Dec 29, 2016


        Please Support The Show With a Donation This week on The One You Feed we have Noah Levine. We were lucky enough to sit down with Noah in the Against the Stream headquarters in Los Angeles. Noah's teachings are core to everything that I have come to believe over the years. I'm really excited to present this interview. Noah Levine (born 1971) is an American Buddhist teacher and the author of the books Dharma Punx: A Memoir , Against the Stream,  and The Heart of The Revolution. As a counselor known for his philosophical alignment with Buddhism and punk ideology, he founded Against the Stream Buddhist Meditation Society.  As a youth, Levine was incarcerated several times. His first book, Dharma Punx, details teenage years filled with drugs, violence, and multiple suicide attempts—choices fuelled by disillusionment with American mainstream culture. His substance abuse started early in life—at age six he began smoking marijuana—and finally ended in a padded detoxification cell in juvenile prison 11 years later. It was in this cell where he hit "an emotional rock bottom" and began his Buddhist practice "out of a place of extreme drug addiction and violence". He recently started Refuge Recovery which is a community of people who are using the practices of mindfulness, compassion, forgiveness and generosity to heal the pain and suffering that addiction has caused. His new book is titled Refuge Recovery: A Buddhist Path to Recovery from Addiction. In This Interview Noah and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable. How he found Buddhism through his life failures. What "going against the stream" means. That the bad wolf has a stronger tendency in us and wins by default. How our capacity for kindness, generosity, and love have to be cultivated. Why the path of the Buddha is revolutionary. Going against the status quo. How to be in the world but not of it. The distinction between suffering and pain. The difference between craving and desire. Why suffering is not your fault. How the 1st Noble Truth normalizes the experience of suffering. The impermanent nature of all things. How we can never satisfy happiness through sense pleasure. How we layer suffering on top of our pain.       

  • 158: Dr. Dan Siegel
    Wed, Dec 28, 2016


        Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Dr. Dan Siegel Daniel Siegel, MD is a graduate of Harvard Medical School and completed his postgraduate medical education at UCLA He is currently a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, and executive director of theMindsight Institute, an educational center devoted to promoting insight, compassion, and empathy in individuals, families, institutions, and communities. His books include Mindsight, The Developing Mind and Parenting from the Inside Out  He has been invited to lecture for the King of Thailand, Pope John Paul II, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Google University, and TEDx. His latest book is called Mind: A Journey to the Heart of Being Human   In This Interview, Dr. Dan Siegel and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable His new book: Mind: A Journey to the Heart of Being Human That where attention goes, neuro-firing flows and neuro-connection grows in the brain The mind is not only what the brain does, or brain firing The mind is more than merely energy and information flow The mind is a self-organizing, emergent and relational process that is regulating the flow of energy and information both within you and between you and the world The role of differentiating and linking in a healthy mind That an unhealthy mind is too rigid and/or too chaotic The importance of integrating rigidity and chaos in the brain The Connectone Studies The fact that integration of the brain is the best indicator of a person's well-being That when we honor the differences between us and promote linkage between us and others, we foster integration in our brains That people with trauma have impaired integration memory What "mindsight" is and how it differentiates from mindfulness How mindfulness can help foster mindsight and well-being The wheel of awareness That change seems to involve awareness That energy is the movement from possibility to actuality through a series of probabilities     Please Support The Show With a Donation 

  • Bonus Holiday Re-Issue: Maria Popova
    Tue, Dec 27, 2016


       Our guest today is Maria Popova: a writer, blogger, and critic living Brooklyn, NY.  She is best known for Brainpickings.org, which features her writing on culture, books, and many other subjects. Brain Pickings is seen by millions of readers every month. Maria’s describes her work as  a human-powered discovery engine for interestingness, a subjective lens on what matters in the world and why, bringing you things you didn’t know you were interested in — until you are…. In This Interview Maria and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable. The critical importance of kindness. The 7 things she has learned from 7 years of Brain Pickings. Being so impatient that we don't dig deeper to understand peoples motivations. The difference between wisdom and knowledge. How we've become bored with thinking. How we have a biological aversion to being wrong. The uncomfortable luxury of changing our minds. How being open minded requires being open hearted. That as the stakes get higher we are less likely to be willing to change our mind. How most world religions exist to take away the feeling of not knowing. Presence is more important than productivity. How we can see spiritual growth as another thing to mark off on our checklist. Dispelling the illusion of the self. How we are creatures of contradictions. Trying to remove contradictions from our lives is a fools errand. Learning to love and live the questions. How it's silly to try and choose between the body and the soul, both are equally important. Why cat pictures on the internet will not relieve your existential emptiness. The average person spends two hours a day looking at their phone. That habit is how we weave our destiny. Whether we need to get something done every 4 minutes of our lives? Balancing presence and productivity. How it's easier to be a critic than a celebrator. Expect anything worthwhile to take a long time. There is no such thing as an overnight success.                 

  • Bonus Holiday Reissue- Dan Millman
    Sun, Dec 25, 2016


    For Group Transformation Program email [email protected]   To make a donation click here   This week on The One You Feed we have Dan Millman. Dan is a former world champion athlete, university coach, martial arts instructor, and college professor as well as a best selling author. After an intensive, twenty-year spiritual quest, Dan’s teaching found its form as the Peaceful Warrior’s Way, expressed fully in his books and lectures. His work continues to evolve over time, to meet the needs of a changing world. Dan’s thirteen books, including Way of the Peaceful Warrior, have inspired and informed millions of readers in 29 languages worldwide. The feature film, “Peaceful Warrior,” starring Nick Nolte, was adapted from Dan’s first book, based upon incidents from his life. In This Interview Dan and I discuss… The One You Feed parable. The choice we face every day. What does window cleaning have to do with spirituality? How to get moving in the right direction. How life always comes down to whether or not you take the action. Starting small and connecting the dots. That a little of something is better than nothing. The danger of the all or nothing mentality. That knowledge alone is not enough. Life purpose. A definition of wisdom. Skillful versus unskillful action. The Four Purposes of Life. How life is a perfect school and the lessons get harder if we don’t learn. The conventional realm and the transcendental realm. The process of writing a book with his daughter.

  • 157: Claire Hoffman
    Wed, Dec 21, 2016


      Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Claire Hoffman Claire Hoffman works as a magazine writer living in Los Angeles, writing for national magazines, covering culture, religion, celebrity, business and whatever else seems interesting. She was formerly a staff reporter for the Los Angeles Times and a freelance reporter for the New York Times. She has a masters degree in religion from the University of Chicago, and a masters degree in journalism from Columbia University. She serves on the board of her family foundation, the Goldhirsh Foundation, as well as the Columbia Journalism School. Claire is a native Iowan and has been meditating since she was three years old. Her new book is called: Greetings from Utopia Park: Surviving a Transcendent Childhood. In This Interview, Claire Hoffman and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable Her new book: Greeting from Utopia Park: Surviving a Transcendent Childhood. Growing up in a transcendental meditation community How that community changed over time The meditation only trailer park Rationality versus belief How things can be so much more beautiful and strange than logic allows Moving away from the meditation community in her late teens Being tired of the negative cynical voice in her head Revisiting the meditation community many years later Can meditation cause people to levitate? Quieting the cynical doubting mind Is evolution antithetical to happiness? Yogic flying: what it is and what it looks like How she felt about seeing her mom attempt to fly The desire to escape being human, to be divine That part if being who she is is feeling uncomfortable Accepting what it's like to be a person Her evolution as a meditator That she doesn't aspire to being enlightenedClaire Hoffman LinksHomepage Twitter FacebookPlease Support The Show with a Donation  

  • 156: Jesse Browner
    Wed, Dec 14, 2016


      Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Jesse Browner Jesse Browner is the author of the novels The Uncertain Hour and Everything Happens Today. His latest book is the memoir How Did I Get Here: Making Peace with the Road Not Taken. Browner has also translated books by Jean Cocteau, Paul Eluard and Rainer Maria Rilke, as well as Fr?d?ric Vitoux's award-winning C?line: A Biography. More recently, he translated Matthieu Ricard's Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill and Fr?d?ric Mitterrand's The Bad Life. His freelance writing includes contributions to Nest magazine, Food & Wine, Gastronomica, New York magazine, The New York Times Book Review, Paris Review, Salon.com, Slate.com and others. . In This Interview, Jesse Browner and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable His new book, How Did I Get Here? Making Peace with the Road Not Taken That in our "unlived lives" we are always happier and more fulfilled Making peace with the choices we've made in our lives How to approach the question, "what if" by asking instead, "what is" That the most persistent monkey on an artists back is happiness The belief that happiness whitewashes all the things that makes us unique Bet on the likelihood that you're not a genius and that you can make meaning in your life in other ways than your art Why bet against yourself? To work hard at something you love: you'll be the best you can His life's motto: Work and Love How he's been called "the angry Buddhist" by his children The importance of and remedy in being more deeply involved in the life you have   Please Support The Show with a Donation  

  • 155: Lesley Hazleton
    Wed, Dec 07, 2016


      Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Lesley Hazleton Lesley Hazleton  is a British-American author whose work focuses on "the vast and volatile arena in which politics and religion intersect." Her latest book, Agnostic: A Spirited Manifesto, a Publishers Weekly most-anticipated book of spring 2016, was praised by The New York Times as "vital and mischievous" and as "wide-ranging... yet intimately grounded in our human, day-to-day life." Hazleton previously reported from Jerusalem for Time, and has written on the Middle East for numerous publications including The New York Times, The New York Review of Books, Harper's, The Nation, and The New Republic. Born in England, she was based in Jerusalem from 1966 to 1979 and in New York City from 1979 to 1992, when she moved to a floating home in Seattle, originally to get her pilot's license, and became a U.S. citizen. She has two degrees in psychology (B.A. Manchester University, M.A. Hebrew University of Jerusalem). Hazleton has described herself as "a Jew who once seriously considered becoming a rabbi, a former convent schoolgirl who daydreamed about being a nun, an agnostic with a deep sense of religious mystery though no affinity for organized religion"."Everything is paradox," she has said. "The danger is one-dimensional thinking". In April 2010, she launched The Accidental Theologist, a blog casting "an agnostic eye on religion, politics, and existence." In September 2011, she received The Stranger's Genius Award in Literature and in fall 2012, she was the Inaugural Scholar-in-Residence at Town Hall Seattle. In This Interview, Lesley Hazleton and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable Her new book, Agnostic: A Spirited Manifesto Why she is a curious agnostic That belief is an emotional attachment That belief is an attempt to establish fact when there is no fact To be a "believer" means you've made up your mind The double meaning of the word "conviction" Why she loves doubt Why binaries concern her That agnostics are often mislabeled as wishy-washy or indecisive How to take joy in our own absurdity That you don't have to believe in a fact because a fact just exists The human tendency to find pattern in anything That perfection is boring   Please Support The Show with a Donation   

  • 154: Benjamin Shalva
    Wed, Nov 30, 2016


      Please Support The Show With a Donation  This week we talk to Benjamin Shalva Benjamin Shalva is the nationally renowned author of Ambition Addiction: How to Go Slow, Give Thanks, and Discover Joy Within and Spiritual Cross-Training: Searching through Silence, Stretch, and Song and has been published in the Washington Post, Elephant Journal, and Spirituality & Health magazine. A rabbi, writer, meditation teacher, and yoga instructor, he leads spiritual seminars and workshops around the world.  In This Interview, Benjamin Shalva and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable His new book, Ambition Addiction: How to go slow, give thanks and discover the Joy Within That ambition can be healthy and it can also cross the line to being destructive The casualties ambition can leave behind The mirage of "any day now" The signs and symptoms of ambition addiction That addictive behavior is something we do often and it's counterproductive The helpfulness of the question: Is my goal an all or nothing goal? That the road to hell is not paved with good intentions, it's paved with unexamined intentions Recovering from ambition addiction The technique of breath, word and deed The key step of slowing down  Please Support The Show with a Donation   

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